This post is taken from a completely fictitious
interview I conducted with no one...or...everyone...who has ever been
hired...by your company.
------------------------------------------------------
Jay - Congratulations on your new job. You must be very
excited?
Your New Employee - Yes, it's going to be great.
Jay - I'd love to hear about your experience joining your
new company. Tell me about the process.
Your New Employee - Well, it's actually been more
complicated than I expected. I saw the position posted online, and tried to
apply, but their website was pretty old school, so I had to spend a lot of time
just trying to get my application in.
Jay - That's too bad...but you know how applicant tracking
systems can be...that's just how it goes.
Your New Employee - Um, I guess so.
Jay - Great! How about your interviews, I bet they were
inspiring?
Your New Employee - Well, actually my screening interview
was okay, but it was a real hassle getting to the next step to meet with the
manager.
Jay - Oh yes, you know how meetings just clog up
every one's calendars. That's the modern world of work...you know what I mean, right?
Your New Employee - I waited a couple of weeks to get my
interview scheduled. Doesn't that seem a bit long to you? Particularly if the
job was so important and needed to be filled right away? At least that's what
the recruiter told me.
Jay - Yes! Those jobs are so important! This is great!
Tell me about your first day, and the orientation you received. I bet it was
awesome, right?
Your New Employee - Not exactly. I sat through a long day
of lectures on benefits and policy reviews which probably could have been done ahead of
time electronically.
Jay - Excellent! It sounds like they have a great program
to get new employees up to speed. I love this! Keep going!
Your New Employee - What? I mean...okay. Once I found my
way to my department the next day they didn't quite know what to do with me, so
I sat around reading some more policies, and figuring out where to go for
lunch.
Jay - Awesome! Lots of flexibility and no pressure as you
got started. You must have felt so supported!
Your New Employee - To be honest with you, I didn't feel supported until a coworker reached out and helped me meet some people and show me the ropes. Then I started to feel like a part
of the team.
Jay - Well, this has just been terrific. Congratulations
again, it sounds like you have made a great career move. You clearly have
joined a world class organization!
How About You
No, this wasn't real...or was it? What would your new team members say in an interview?
I'd love to hear from you.
No Excuses.
