I Have 99 Problems

...and I think I might be the biggest one.

Ouch.

Not Me
Sometimes I feel like I've mastered the art of identifying what is wrong with everybody else in the world. Corporate leaders, politicians, colleagues, companies, acquaintances, and on and on...

What the heck? Since when was I appointed King of the World?

Um, never.

So what is driving that occasional burst of energy that builds up inside and plays out as a rapid fire stream of negative self-talk? 

Do I truly see how others are struggling? 

Sometimes.

Do I also misinterpret what is happening because my lens is fixed so tightly? 

Sometimes.

Do I need to learn to pause, and understand "why" something is happening before I react?

All the time.

Definitely Me
Pushing ourselves to not only be more humble and patient is one thing. Challenging ourselves to literally be a better person is a far different story. How we move from 'today' to our improved 'tomorrow' feels like a long process. 

But there are steps we can take to get there. Focusing on a positive outlook (which I try hard to do); starting a journal to help us understand the 'why'; and...

...putting ourselves second. When it's always about ME...I can't focus on anyone else.

How About You
How do you ensure that 'you' don't get in the way of the people and circumstances you deal with each day? What works? What doesn't? It matters, right?

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.

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It's Time to Suffer

"I'm not good enough."

"I'm not going to get that new job."

"I really messed up that relationship."

"It's my own fault...I just can't handle all this pressure."

"I'll never have an opportunity to get ahead here."

Our Mind: Friend or Foe?
The often discussed - and even more frequently "heard" - minds of ours can be so powerful that we sometimes get lost, literally, in them.

I try to use my self-talk machine to help me stay positive, fired up for each new day, and to keep moving forward. I'm obsessed with constant motion.

However, that does not mean that those voices in my head don't do their best to derail me and turn me into a quivering mass of jello.

Self-talk is powerful. 

No, We Aren't Supposed to Suffer
For some reason when we stumble, the thought comes into our heads that we must be punished. Why is that?

Guilt?
Sadness?
Resentment?
Disappointment?
Embarrassment?

It doesn't make any sense. Yet, I completely understand why someone might feel that way...because I have felt that way too.

What is it about "not being perfect every time" that makes us think we need to experience emotional pain or stress? 

Have we set such unrealistic expectations of ourselves that each mistake or wrong decision must be punished?

Whoa! That is a lot of pressure!

How About You
How do you handle setbacks or disappointments, particularly when you have contributed to them? 

Does your mind kick in to overdrive and begin the attack on...you; or, have you developed a way to sidestep that very human reaction, and follow a different path?

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.

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Pulling a Fast One

NEWSFLASH! - "I'm trying my best!"

In My Head

Despite what I think sometimes...

Despite what others want me to be...

Despite the pressure I'm under to be everything for everyone...

Despite the self-talk that occasionally tries to 'go negative'...

Despite the change in the world that is bad...

Despite my blind spots that miss all of the good things in the world...

Despite what I thought should happen...

Despite my failings...

Powering Through

So, instead I think differently..

So, instead I accept that I can not be 'that' person...

So, instead I accept the pressure and go for it anyway...

So, instead I battle my self-talk, and win the argument...

So, instead I take action against the bad...

So, instead I challenge myself to see more clearly...

So, instead I embrace what is happening...

So, instead I accept that I will struggle, and improve...

How About You

What do your battles look like...sound like...feel like? Even though I am part of an amazing community, there is always the internal struggle that is part of what makes each of us unique, and crazy, and special all at the same time.

Sometimes it can feel as if life has pulled a fast one on us. But the reality is that life is doing exactly what it is supposed to do. All we have to do is...try our best. 

Life is good!

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.

Tyrants and Translators

Leadership is hard. In her recent post over at Fistful of Talent Suzanne Rumsey detailed how challenging it can be to fill the shoes of a leader, even with the help of a skilled leadership coach. Her piece raises some fundamental issues about whether or not studying leadership actually makes any difference in your leadership effectiveness.

Effectiveness. Good word.

A Rocky Road

I like to think that I am a reasonable leader. At least that's what my self-talk machine keeps pumping into my head. I've overcome some tough leaders over the years, and hopefully there isn't someone out there who feels the same way about me. Odds are however, that I've offended someone even though I never intended to. That's on me.

One of the biggest advantages of working for leaders that we do not aspire to emulate is that we learn. Oh boy do we learn! From the supervisor way back in my early years who threw someone out of a meeting (yes, I mean literally threw); to demanding that someone be fired immediately; to generally being so spineless they couldn't make a decision; I feel like I've seen (and learned) an awful lot about ineffective leadership.

Translator Please

But how does one take those negative experiences and turn them into positive behavior? Is it as easy as remembering "wow, I better not throw anyone out of a conference room!" I think it might be more than that. How about "using a checklist to make sure I'm doing the right things each day?" That's probably not enough either.

Here's what I do know...if you treat people poorly you're doing a lousy job. I guess if I start there and move forward I'm probably doing alright.

How About You
How do you remain effective? Do you believe every word of that self-talk voice? Do you grip your title nice and tight as an excuse to behave any way you'd like? Or, is it something else that makes a difference?

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.



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