Which Leaders Influenced You?

Leadership can at times be a heavy burden. At least it feels that way for me. The pressure to not only meet budgets, drive revenue, be creative, take risks, etc. are enough for any sane person to question their career choices.

The extra challenge of ensuring that you deliver for your employees is a whole new level of pressure. They depend on us to have a vision, drive new business opportunities, and grow the organization. They are literally counting on us for their livelihood.

That’s a lot.

When that all feels a bit too much for me I turn to those who have inspired me on my journey. Some of these leaders I’ve had close personal relationships with; others I’ve only studied and admired from afar.

Those role models are important. To assume we can simply figure everything out on our own is ludicrous, and is a sure-fire way to toss your credibility out the window.

“Beware the leader that believes he or she has all the answers”

Tell me about the leaders who influenced your development as a leader? Who were they, and what made them so important in your journey?

Perhaps most importantly, how have you tried to bring those important traits into your leadership style? Admiring other leaders is one thing, integrating their strengths into how you grow in your leadership practice is very different.

Oh, and here’s a quick peek at several of my most important role models: my Father, Reverend Gary Kuhns; The Reverend Dietrich Bonhoeffer; The Reverend Doctor Martin Luther King, Jr.

Thanks for being here.

Jay

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Safety Nets

“Hey bro, do you have a couple of minutes to talk?”

“Any chance we could grab a coffee this week?”

“I could use some time with you…how about we meet for dinner?”

As the course of my leadership career continues to evolve, change, and morph in new and expanded directions, I’m finding it increasingly important to connect with other men in my world. I’m blessed that my partner is an amazing support, and she’s willing to listen for as long as I need to talk.

However, there is another need for support that is somehow different, and just as important. Sadly, most men are caught in the stereotype that reaching out to other men is a sign of weakness. I was caught in that bizarre trap for decades.

Not anymore.

What are the changes I’ve made? There are several actually. 

- I helped start a weekly men’s bible study in August of 2022 that is going strong.

- I started a small men’s covenant group on the GroupMe app to connect several of my close friends who live all across the country. We check in with each other on Friday mornings.

- I was invited to join a small group of eight businessmen in Tampa. We meet quarterly and discuss ethical business practices, life issues, and whatever else happens to come up.

- Lastly, I’m trying to be more intentional about staying connected to my close friends and connections. The pace of life sometimes gets in the way; however, I’m not accepting that excuse. I keep pushing.

These steps have helped me. They may not be a good fit for you, and that’s okay. Finding what works is the most important thing. I’d love to hear what you’re doing to take care of yourself.

Thanks for being here.

Jay

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Wounds

In my last post I talked about taking NoExcusesHR a bit deeper. Leadership messages should not only be about behaviors that propel us forward, they should also demonstrate how leaders are vulnerable people who struggle too. At least I think those messages should.

The last few years have been quite a journey for me. Outwardly, it’s been business success, travel, great food, an incredible new relationship, and my wonderful growing family around me. I am blessed beyond words with all of these things coming into my life at this stage. 

Sharing what we want others to see is powerful...and incomplete. 

What doesn’t get shared however is my old nemesis. We’ve actually been doing battle for a long time. It challenges my confidence, my self-image, and my big vision for the future. It speaks to what I’m not. 

Sometimes it’s very, very loud.

Why share this with you? I’ve asked myself the same question a hundred times. Is it just ‘normal’ self-doubt creeping in once in a while? 

Shouldn’t I be able to just shake it off? Well, no. The weight of the struggle feels heavy and is not something I can simply decide to toss aside. These feelings don’t work that way.

Will this deeper dive into leadership vulnerability resonate with someone? Maybe in some small way it will make a difference.

We’ll see.

For now, I’m hoping that progress comes as I pry open the lid on the raw emotions that are part of any epic battle. Although I’m not clear what progress looks like at this point, I hope it will be worth the effort.

More soon.

Thanks for being here.

Jay

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The End of the Beginning

This is a famous quote from one of my favorite periods in history. Winston Churchill said it in November 1942 at a time when the allies finally achieved some success against Germany.

“Now is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.”

In some ways, I feel that way about this blog.

Has this first phase of my leadership message run its course?

Is it time for a major pivot?

How deep do I go?

Is the messaging around leadership so overdone that it’s time for a more bold approach?

And, am I willing to be more vulnerable, and ask some of the hardest questions of myself and others?

We’ll see. I’d love your feedback on all of this. And until then…

Thanks for being here.

Jay

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I’m Just Asking

 Why is it so difficult to…

- voice our opinion when we know it isn’t the popular one?

- express our faith?

- say a kind word to a stranger?

- enjoy the moment?

- challenge racism when we hear it?

- drive change in our organizations even if we’re viewed as disruptive?

- be ourselves in all situations?

-  volunteer our time?

- acknowledge that mental health struggles are real?

- lead courageously?

- think beyond ourselves?

I’m just asking.

Thanks for being here.

Jay

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Checking In

About a year ago I was thinking about my struggles, my imposter syndrome voice that creeps in every once in a while, those around me that are probably experiencing the same self-doubt, or are generally going through episodes of struggle themselves.

I decided to do something about it, and started reaching out to check in on friends, colleagues, and in many cases people I haven’t met yet but have gotten to know through various social channels.

The goal was to reach out to at least one person each day, though I’ll admit I haven’t gone a full month yet intentionally checking in on someone consistently. However, I log my check ins as a sort of private accountability tracker, and it’s amazing to see how many times I’ve connected.

So despite the fact that I’ve failed to hit a daily goal, I have succeeded in connecting with many more people who wouldn’t have heard from me otherwise.

Some are going through public challenges. Others are struggling with very private issues that I happen to be aware of. Still others have shared subtle cues on their social networks which I’ve taken the risk to inquire about…and the flood of emotion comes out.

This process that I now hold close has given me far more than I believe I’ve done for others. For me, it is a way to live my faith without pressuring anyone about religion. It’s a way to take action instead of seeing one more “if only someone had reached out” posts. And most of all, isn’t that what friends and colleagues are supposed to do?

Who are you going to check in with today?

Thanks for being here.

Jay

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Still the Same

If you look back on the last five years of your career, ask yourself what has changed? The pandemic aside, ask what you’re doing differently today vs the past.

How have you upped your leadership style?

How do you focus differently?

What new priorities matter to you that weren’t on your radar five years ago?

Do you have fresh new goals that you didn’t consider previously?

Who matters most in your professional life now?

Growth, lifelong learning, and constantly challenging ourselves to be better is not only fun, it ensures that we do not become old and stale (regardless of our age.)

So today it’s all about a bit of reflection; and hopefully, new thinking for your future. 

Remember, you can never think big enough!

Thanks for being here.

Jay

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