Descendants and Ancestors

We are part of a much larger moment than simply the one we are living in right now. We are descendants of those that came before us. And we will become the ancestors of those yet to come in a long distant future.

Have you ever considered that?

What then, have we learned from those that came before us? Their struggles, failures, and successes should inform how we behave today, right? Whether it’s our personal journey, or our professional one, the past should be a powerhouse source of data that informs how we move forward.

But does it, really?

I offer today that it rarely informs what we do, particularly in the workplace. How many examples of failed leadership exist and yet the need for ‘leadership development’ and ‘coaching’ is stronger than ever? 

Have we…have I…learned nothing so far? I can only imagine what our ancestors think of us. Are they not shaking their heads wondering why we continue to follow in the footsteps of leadership arrogance, considering people as ‘assets’ and ‘resources’ instead of unique individuals that with the proper support and encouragement could be transformative members of an incredible organization?

Heavy things to consider. Even heavier to think about how this rinse and repeat world of work can be shifted in the proper direction.

                                          “Let us be the ancestors, 

                        our descendants will thank”

                                                 - Winona Laduke

I hope that one day when we are all considered ancestors that our future descendants will look back and thank us for beginning to break the oft repeated cycle of not learning from history. 

Perhaps it is finally time that radical new thinking about work begins to take hold, and a new foundation is put in place for those that will follow us?

What do you think?

Thanks for being here.

Jay

Our (My) Prioritization Problem

Is it all about work? 

Is it all about fun? 

Is it all about pouring ourselves into others both personally and professionally? 

Is it all about skating our way through life and hoping for the best? 

Is it all about building workplace cultures that are bullet proof? 

Is it all about being so short-sighted for gain that we lose sight of the big picture? 

Does financial performance equate to leadership ability?

When do our values come into play? 

What about kindness as a leadership competency?

So many questions…

…what do you think?

Thanks for being here.

Jay

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Ascension

Personal demons. Managing anxiety. Family demands. Professional pressure. Community expectations. Imposter syndrome.

How do you rise above it all? Perhaps rising above is not the right phrase…maybe it’s just managing it all? Even that feels like a stretch sometimes…at least it does for me.

Just getting through can be a victory.

How do you find your way? Is it faith, family, friends, colleagues, or others? Maybe it’s just making the time for solitude and peace?

All of those work for me at different times for different reasons.

No one ever said the journey would be easy, but with the right tools to keep moving forward it can be far more positive than we sometimes allow ourselves to believe. In fact, it can be quite beautiful. Use the resources around you to help find your way.

Thanks for being here.

Jay

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The To Do List Battle

Honestly, my To Do list has become unwieldy. While the thinking that we should have three or four key action items each day makes sense, it seems to be out of touch with my reality of my workload. I’m blessed to have a job with heavy organizational responsibilities; and what comes with that is a long list of things that need to be accomplished.

This isn’t another “whoa is me, I’m so busy” post…rather…I’d like to examine how I organize my work, and hopefully, to learn how you’ve resolved this dilemma.

The List

I use Microsoft’s To Do as my app of choice. It’s the former Wunderlist tool which I loved. It meets my needs, is fairly flexible, and helps me at least understand all of the things I need to get accomplished both personally and professionally. A bonus is that I have access regardless of device (iPad, iPhone, MacBook.) I don’t use paper anymore…haven’t for nearly twenty years.

Do you use an app? If so, which one? What’s good / bad about it? What have you learned?

The Quantity of To Dos

What makes your list? Do you collapse items under an umbrella category (I do a LOT of this); or, does each action item get its own unique place (which can be rewarding when they are completed and ‘disappear’)? 

Shared To Dos

Last category…do you share To Do lists with your colleagues? I do not…and candidly not for any particular reason. With slack, Teams and other tools I’m not sure a separate and shared To Do list makes sense.

Thoughts?

Enough for now…I have to get back to my list.

Thanks for being here.

Jay

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Becoming ‘Vincible’

It’s been a pretty rough week. We all go through them; but for me, this one has been particularly difficult. No need for details here…just know I hope none of you have to travel the road I am on.

One of my biggest takeaways, and candidly a bit humbling for me, is that no one is invincible. Of course I know that on an intellectual level. But we humans don’t necessarily operate on an intellectual level all the time.

A simple note…when life seems to be moving smoothly in a certain direction remember that the universe can throw a curve ball when we least expect it.

I’m incredibly appreciative for the love and support around me…and I hope you know I am here for you too if you ever need someone.

Thanks for being here.

Jay

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Ruined

Does a hard day or series of hard days at work ruin you?

Does a challenging period of time with your relationships ruin you?

Do the social media posts from others ‘living their best lives’ 24/7/365 ruin you?

Have your bad choices in life ruined you?

I have good news.

No, they haven’t ruined you. None of it has. Of course bad days and bad choices are stressful, and sometimes as we process those circumstances in our heads we become overwhelmed. 

That’s normal.

What other people choose to share publicly has nothing to do with you. 

The one truth to focus on through it all is that you are absolutely not ruined. 

If you need to talk, reach out at anytime. I’m a good listener.

Thanks for being here.

Jay

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The One Good Thing

What is the one good thing you’re going to do today for someone else? 

Not out of responsibility.

Not out of obligation.

Simply…being intentional, going out of your way, and showing kindness to someone else.

Yes, I know you’re busy. I am as well.

But there is always time to do one good thing.

Thanks for being here.

Jay

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Saboteur

Someone is always to blame. We thrive on the idea of finding the scapegoat, the one at fault, or the messed up cultures that derail what would otherwise be achieved if only ‘those people’ would do the right things.

It’s easy to be critical. Plenty of blame to go around…never to us, of course. We have a clear vision of what life and work and society and corporate cultures are supposed to be. We have keen insight, leadership vision, passion for what we do, and a clear sense of how life should flow.

But it doesn’t flow. Life isn’t smooth every day. And candidly, sometimes it can be a bit too much. It’s as if we aren’t deserving of the good things each day brings…rather, just the bad. 

Somehow, we shouldn’t be allowed to have things move forward. Instead, a life of punishment is what we actually deserve. So, the self-talk machine in our heads manifests this mindset…feeds it…pushes it into our line of sight…and it becomes real.

It’s a battle that candidly, I suffer from time to time. Does that surprise you? Mr. Positivity struggles too? We all do, right? And when it comes to sabotage…

…it turns out, sometimes the saboteur is me.

Thanks for being here.

Jay

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7 Days

A simple post with a simple request.

Each day for the next seven days reach out and check in on someone. Seven different people, one each day.

Call, text, direct message…it doesn’t matter how. Let them know you are thinking about them.

There is so much hidden pain in our world. Even our strong friends ‘who have it all together’ actually have stuff they’re dealing with too. Remember, people don’t fake depression, they fake being ‘fine.’ 

You’ll be surprised at how it makes you feel.

Thanks for being here.

Jay

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Journaling

I’ve finally jumped into the world of journaling after several stops and starts over the years. Some entries are long and vulnerable…others are brief snippets of an otherwise uneventful day. What I’ve found, and what I’m sure many of you have long since discovered, is that the simple act of journaling (which I do digitally by the way) is quite powerful.

It’s as if the journal has become a therapist of sorts. Odd, yes. And I did’t quite understand what was happening at first. Yet now I see that the ‘conversation’ I have with myself allows for both perspective and insight that in the moment are not readily available.

I don’t follow a system, or use daily prompts (“What am I grateful for today?”). Those feel a bit artificial. I’m allowing myself to simply write what strikes me in the moment. Which makes for interesting reading later on. Why did I say that? Why was I so worked up about that issue? How can I anticipate that surge of emotions coming on in the future and react differently?

For many of you I’m sure you’re wondering why I’m so late to the journaling party. Perhaps for others, this can serve as an invitation to explore how this simple new part of your day can be quite a powerful act of self-care.

Thanks for being here.

Jay

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Rise of the Fallen

We all get knocked down, and usually find a way to drag ourselves back up again. But is that all this is? Just another positive message about soldiering on to get back to the grind of life filled with highs and lows?

Perhaps there’s another angle here.

What about shifting after a low point to see, and think, and do things differently? Of course there is personal power development in getting through rough patches and finding a way to push forward. But often that only means we survived one storm and we’re going to go through another one in the very same way…get knocked down hard…and stagger back to our feet.

And repeat.

That cycle, for me, has become most unappealing.

How does one move beyond this cycle of triumph, fall, suffering, struggle, and triumph once more without being doomed to repeat it over and over again?

Faith? Friends? Mindset? Inspirational quotes? Motivational books? Journaling? Community groups? Volunteering? Sacrificing for others? Hobbies? 

I might suggest all of those things can make a tremendous difference. It goes beyond that list though, at least I think it does. Perhaps there is an inner calm we can achieve when we learn to think differently. When our mind simply no longer allows the stressors of life to overwhelm and control us (and send us into a deep dark place from which we have to struggle to find our way out) we somehow have…changed. 

Is that possible? Can we actually re-learn how to handle stress is such a way that we don’t have to be pushed to the brink repeatedly as if it were some sort of life sentence of struggle and pain?

I’m trying. Lately it’s been a bit more of a heavy load as the list of pain points continues to grow. Yet, it seems to be working…somehow.

How have you tried to break the cycle in your life?

Thanks for being here.

Jay

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The Sun is Still Out

Dearest gentle reader…in early 19th century England it was considered improper to dance during daylight hours (or at least it was according to Bridgerton.) The notion that someone would actually dance “while the sun was still out” seemed absurd! Imagine the scandal among the nobility!

Let’s fast-forward to your organization today and ask a couple of questions:

- What unwritten rules are in place in your corporate culture?

- Who sets the standards for corporate etiquette?

- What are the consequences for breaking these rules?

- Imagine the scandal among the corporate nobility when these rules are broken!

The further I go in my career, the more I take pride in a track record of doing my best to break through traditional thinking and breaking cultural norms to make leaps forward. The concept of sacrificing sacred practices in companies is not new; however, the courage to actually do so continues to be a rare sighting indeed.

As for this author, I look forward to the season when it is expected that each leader of the gentry…er…leadership team…is expected to speak up, challenge, and bring forward fresh ideas and normalize risk-taking instead of forever being locked in a world of arcane social norms that serve only those long overdue for a retirement ball.

Thanks for being here.

Jay

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It’s How We Think That Matters Most

You may not agree with my bold title: how we think matters most. Whatever happened to “actions speak louder than words” or “her behavior speaks for itself?”

The, um…wiser I get…the more I’ve moved beyond behavior as the key element of someone’s leadership style. Where do those behaviors come from anyway? Are they not an attribute or symptom of a deeper issue at play?

I submit, yes indeed they are. It is the mind that triggers behavior. 

The way we see the world…that inner voice that speaks to us incessantly…shapes the way we interpret and act upon all of the external impulses that barrage us daily. Shifting how we interpret these messages, and candidly, being open to changing our minds (God forbid!) is a real-life game changer.

Imagine feeling confident enough in yourself that you are open to hearing different points of view, seeking out contrary opinions, and assimilating all of that new information into your head in a thoughtful way?

Impossible? I don’t think so. I’ll offer one quick example. A couple of years ago I decided to stay connected to people who didn’t necessarily share my world view on many topics. I intentionally was trying to stretch my understanding of what people value, even if it didn’t seem to fit with what I knew was really the most important thing. The result? I have a much greater appreciation for why those differing viewpoints matter so much, and why people might embrace those as the most important things to them.

Imagine how this plays out in your organizations? Is everyone so dialed in to the vision / plan / goals  that they haven’t left any room for disruptive thinking or points of view? What might be missed that could be transformational?

Just imagine.

Thanks for being here.

Jay

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The Importance of Unlearning

I’ve come a long way since moving into my first formal people leadership role at age twenty-seven. I thought I knew a lot…and then quickly learned I didn’t…and then started learning in a different way. I held on tight to the learning I did for the next decade and leveraged it to steadily progress further along.

And then the learning I had done suddenly didn’t seem to fit in every situation. It’s as if someone changed the rules on me when I wasn’t looking. How could that be? I had been laser focused on my leadership style for so long, it couldn’t possibly let me down now, right?

It turns out that my approach to leadership had not necessarily needed to change…the x-factor was that I needed to do some UNlearning.

I had a certain point of view that certainly seemed crystal clear to me; yet, that lens failed me at times when I made certain assumptions about people, dynamics, or systems that didn’t exactly fit the way I had “learned to lead.”

Did my style fit? Yes. Did the way I was actually seeing and understanding some situations need to be reset? Absolutely.

Humility is a powerful thing. For those that never experience it they spend their lives lost is a sea of arrogance and jokes behind their back. For those that eat a slice of humble pie once in a while, well, we appreciate how powerful humility can be for our growth and effectiveness.

UNlearning some of the things I’ve held close for a long time has allowed me to continue to grow as a leader…even as I move to ‘vintage’ status.

Have you considered what you might need to UNlearn in your professional life?

Thanks for being here.

Jay

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Extending Trust

Do your employees and young leaders need to earn your trust before it is given? Or, is developing leaders done differently through extending trust first?

Trusting first…

…sacrilege!

We have to earn everything in life, right?

A spot on the sports team.

A chance at a promotion.

A place on a high profile new project team.

A measure of respect from colleagues.

That feels like an awful lot of earning that has to happen before we are allowed any opportunities at all. Honestly, I’m not sure that message still resonates.

If I trust you and give you a chance to spread your wings a bit at work…long before the normal “earn-your-way” approach would afford…am I being reckless? 

If you “haven’t had enough time to develop the skills necessary” for certain projects, am I supposed to wait for another year to get you moving?

If I behave like an out-of-touch old-school leader will I be able to attract and retain any young talent to my organization?

Earned first before trust is given doesn’t make sense in every situation anymore.

What do you think?

Thanks for being here.

Jay

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It’s Just Myself, Talking to Me, About Myself

I don’t know about you…but the self-talk machine that runs in my head can be…unforgiving, relentless, even brutal at times. Back when I was young and insecure I thought I would be in control of every facet of my personal and professional life by the time I got to this age.

Well…now I’m ‘at that age’ and am still insecure at times…perhaps in a strange way even more so now. Why? Because I actually know things as compared to when I was young and only thought I knew things.

Big difference, right?

Some of the self-doubt is healthy for me. It keeps me grounded…ensures I don’t get too full of myself…and allows me the opportunity to show some grace…to me.

However, too much of a good thing is no good. That’s how it gets for me sometimes. The voice in my head picks up momentum and…off we go down a bunch of rabbit holes.

There’s a silver lining to this story though. Unlike when I was young and didn’t necessarily have the coping skills to effectively deal with that imposter inside me; I’m now equipped with not only a mature perspective, but mature tools as well. 

Understanding the power of faith in my life

Leaning into my men’s group for support

Reaching out to friends who ‘get me’

Having someone very special in my life who supports me

…and candidly looking back and realizing that despite the stress, anxiety, pressure and self-doubt, I’ve navigated life pretty well so far.

You have too. Don’t forget.

Thanks for being here.

Jay

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Handle Hard Better

This is probably old news to most of you…but I saw a story a couple of months back about the Duke women’s basketball coach, Kara Lawson, and her impromptu powerful message to her team during a routine practice.

She talked to them about how to handle hard better. I love that phrase. Three simple words with a punch.

Handle.

Hard.

Better.

This is particularly timely for me as I’m going through a fairly stormy phase of life. Not asking for sympathy here…I’m focused on the words.

Handle.

Hard.

Better.

What’s going through your mind as you see the words? 

What’s on the list of the difficult things you’re tackling right now? 

What does handle better mean? 

Is there a secret out there that I’ve missed all these years?

If you’re interested in what Coach Lawson had to say in less than three minutes check out the video:

Handle Hard Better

Thanks for being here.

Jay

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Describing the Future: Helping Your Employees Navigate Change

We’ve all said “change is difficult” throughout our careers. Yet why aren’t we getting better at it? Sure, we take a bit more of an inclusive approach these days…but again and again we read the “lessons learned” testimonials of organizations that have struggled.

Perhaps we’re on the right track, but missing one key piece? That piece might bring a greater number of employees into alignment with the leadership team’s vision for what is to come.

I recently attended the Conference Board’s Change Management conference and this theme played out repeatedly.

“If we don’t show our employees the future (or end state, or vision) we will NEVER get the buy in and commitment we need to move things forward with our change projects.”

Our teams will cling to the past…even if it wasn’t good…because they know it.

Our teams will cling to the present…even if it isn’t good…because they know it.

But our teams fear of the future…because it is unknown. 

How are you describing the future to your organization? Is it a big secret that is going to be unveiled at some point? Which, by the way, will send disruptive shockwaves throughout the employee base, even if it’s exciting news.

Remember, “change is difficult.” That applies to all change.

Telling your story…controlling the narrative…and at the very least committing to over-communicating will ensure everyone knows the direction you are headed and why you need to get there.

What approach are you taking?

Thanks for being here.

Jay

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(More) Wounds

Last week was more than I was ready for. It was one of those rare combinations when my professional and personal lives decided to ramp up the intensity simultaneously. I’m not planning on sharing the details here…rather…I’ve been reflecting on what that kind of pressure does to people.

And by people, I mean me.

The emotional rollercoaster I found myself on resulted in a couple of significant reactions. First, I was extraordinarily calm, at least initially. More so than I expected. It proved to be valuable as the twists and turns of the week played out in very serious ways. 

Calm…for me…has become a superpower. 

I’ll clarify here…that calm demeanor on the outside did not match what I was feeling on the inside. I knew though, that I needed to appear calm for all those who were relying on me. That list was (and still is) long.

It’s an odd experience to process in your head…when you feel like everyone is counting on you to come through…and somehow you find the strength to do it. I’m not boasting…I’m sharing how grateful I feel that I received the help I needed to deliver. That help was clearly my faith…because it sure wasn’t me “man-ing up” to be strong. 

New week starts today…same issues…but I’m a bit stronger knowing that not only did I get through last week, but that I’m better prepared for this one.

Thanks for being here.

Jay

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Fate Agrees With Me

The world seems more polarized than ever. That may actually not be true (think World War II for example.) Yet somehow for this generation it is certainly as divided as I can remember. There is another layer of division that seems to show itself to me lately as well…and it’s a most curious one.

As the push to “take sides” on issues becomes more prevalent (are you a conservative, liberal, democrat, republican, etc…) I have discovered that I am no longer interested in taking sides.

Confining yourself to a particular group seems to be a narrow way to view, and experience, the world. Imagine if our workplaces had to take sides? Where would innovation and dissonant thinking have room to create breakthrough ideas?

So then, why is it when we leave our workplaces we should suddenly have a view that we cling to at all costs…defending, arguing over, and perhaps alienating or marginalizing others simply because we are X or Y or Z? 

The other tremendous risk that is taken when we write off those that don’t fit into our definitions of what is “the right way to think” purely based on a label, is that we miss out on meeting really amazing people.

I’m allowing myself to appreciate others with very different points of view than mine. And although I may not agree with them on some things, I’ve made some incredible friends that I otherwise would never have allowed myself to connect with.

How do you view those around you who don’t necessarily look and sound like a mirror image of you?

Thanks for being here.

Jay

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The Negative Impact of ‘Should’

I’m part of a small group bible study that meets each week. Recently we had a discussion on the word ‘should.’

You should do this…

You should do that…

I should have been better…

I should have thought it through…

I should…You should…We should…

That’s a lot of self-talk harm if you ask me. 

Why do we do this to ourselves? Have we all been brainwashed to we believe we are constantly supposed to better at everything? And, God forbid if we’re actually human every once in a while and aren’t perfect, are we supposed to beat ourselves up over it?

This is a new definition of insanity.

Speaking just for me…I put a tremendous amount of pressure on myself normally. Realizing that I’m adding additional pressure because “I’m supposed to be” even better all the time sounds like I’ve crossed the line from a highly driven person to one who has lost his way?

Where are you with your list of ‘shoulds?’

My small group talked through a variety of options…I’d love to hear yours?

Thanks for being here.

Jay

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Majoring in the Minors

I coached youth hockey for a number of years, and one of the most challenging issues was educating the boys on not only working hard, but working hard on the most difficult things.

Quick example…battling it out with a player from the opposite team, but avoiding areas of the ice that may be more difficult (and in this case, physically punishing) were often avoided. Yet, it looked as if our player was working really hard.

The same challenge is ever present for leaders today. Pouring hours and hours into menial administrative tasks, taking endless meetings that don’t add real value, and wasting time doing the same things over and over again instead of advancing bold new ideas is simply deadly.

It looks like they’re busy…sadly, they are simply serving as an anchor holding the organization in place instead of allowing it to flourish.

Who in your organization is driving the AI conversation?

Who is addressing the new expectations of your workforce?

Who is thinking differently about how to attract world-class talent to your company?

Who is the creative one tackling new regulatory pressure?

Hopefully that person is you.

Thanks for being here.

Jay

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Chief Work Officer

 No organization has this role…at least not any that I’m aware of.

We focus on tech; and trends; and hot button issues; and external drama; and quite often a heck of a lot of internal drama too; we can be fearful to hold people accountable because we may bruise a few egos; but…

…how much time is devoted to execute and improve the actual work?

Have we become so ‘busy’ that we don’t have time to do the work?

Often times we refer to “operations” as having this responsibility. Yet, isn’t operations focused on execution and delivery? That feels different than improving how work gets done.

Maybe it’s just me; but I’d love to hear how your organization brought a laser focus to improving work. 

What intentional decisions did you make to dramatically improve how the work is done?

What barriers did you face to gain consensus to make the investment necessary?

How did you measure your success?

Work is a complex concept…thinking about it holistically can make a dramatic difference.

Thanks for being here.

Jay

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Two Things That Drive Organizational Change

I’m back from some time away to rest and recharge. During that break I couldn’t help but think about the world of work, and why it all seems to be so difficult. Conference content is loaded with the challenges we face, how we might begin to climb the almost unclimbable mountain of problems in front of us, and how the world seems to be changing faster than ever (more coming on AI soon.)

And then I heard a comment from Dr. Po-Shen Loh that absolutely resonated with me…one which kept popping into my head last week.

“We should only hire people who have two primary qualities: they love change…and they are incredibly curious.”

That one hit hard. 

Imagine, everyone on your team embraces change and does not get hung up on the petty slogans of “that’s now how it used to be around here” - and, they have a need to learn more, explore more, challenge traditional thinking more.

Wow.

How might the challenges you face be addressed if your team prioritized change and curiosity?

The possibilities are endless, right?

Thanks for being here.

Jay

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1,000

More than 13 years.

Some years with many things to say…some years with very few.

Self-doubt;

Self-confidence;

Vulnerability;

…all constant companions.

Professional growth.

Career pivots.

Personal growth.

Dark valleys;

No path forward;

Fear;

…and suddenly light.

Bucket lists.

A book.

Forever taking risks through it all.

And some of you have been along for the ride since day one.

1,000 blog posts in the rear view mirror. Many more to go before it’s done.

Thanks for being here.

Jay

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Affirmation Not Information

When was the last time you changed your mind about something? It seems like we should be changing our minds all the time when we review data, understand complex issues more fully, and take the time to think something through.

But we don’t.

We often look for the data elements that will reinforce our already locked in point of view. Candidly, that’s a shame. It’s as if we would rather be unaware of reality instead of taking criticism for changing our point of view.

Think about the number of new ideas that bubble up in organizations only to be shot down by more…seasoned…leaders who believe they are the only ones who see the path forward.

For politicians the journey is even more treacherous. What happens the moment an elected leader changes their mind? They are immediately labeled as flip-flopping on issues. 

Yet, lobbying groups, normal citizens, and just about everyone else is constantly trying to educate those same politicians to better understand the issues and make better decisions.

Better decisions. A novel concept sometimes.

So help me understand why changing our minds is a negative?

I believe it comes down to one thing: we love to affirm our opinions, but aren’t necessarily excited about real information that might change our views. 

Fair statement? I think so.

When was the last time you changed your mind?

Thanks for being here.

Jay

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Indomitable

Indomitable. What an impressive word. It speaks to inner strength, conviction, and a level of dedication unmatched by most.

You are indomitable.

Sounds good, right?

But, how does one get to a place where this powerful word actually applies? Is it something we’re born with…something we learn…something else?

We’ve seen leaders who appear to have it all together. They’re polished in front of a crowd. They are composed. They think quickly and rarely misstep.

…and we think to ourselves…I want to be like that.

But how? Mentors can play a vital part. But don’t wait for your employer to launch a mentorship program. Go find the one you want. Breakthroughs come when we bring them to life, not because we waited around for someone else to tap us on the shoulder.

How else? Pay attention to those inside and outside your organization who are making things happen. Moving toward indomitable is a proactive series of steps.

And always, ask for feedback. Show your humility in order to get stronger. Those that are always ‘strong’ are burning a tremendous amount of energy hoping you’ll believe their story is true. No one is always on top of their game 100% of the time. 

No one.

So, how do you get to a place where this applies to you?

You decide, that’s how.

Indomitable. That my friend, is you.

Thanks for being here.

Jay

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When to Bet on Your People

When do you know it’s time to give a member of your team a new opportunity? How can you tell if someone is ready for the next step in their career? What are the signals that indicate you should trust one of your people to lead an initiative, particularly when you may not agree completely with their path forward?

Despite the dramatic shift in worker expectations, the world of remote work, and more pressure than ever for companies to perform, the challenge of leading people is still, in many ways, unchanged.

Senior leaders still make the decisions that allow more junior leaders the chance to grow.

It would be great if there was a playbook that told us exactly what needs to be done before we take the risk and let those junior leaders fly. 

I would love a checklist that guarantees those decisions so I wouldn’t look bad…and neither would that young leader. Their success is my success, right?

But these tools, in most cases, don’t exist. We have to gather multiple data points to help us gain confidence and make that decision. 

It’s their time…and we have to let them fly, fail a bit, coach them back on track, and watch them succeed.

What process do you use? Or, is it simply easier to do everything yourself?

Thanks for being here.

Jay

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What Do Other People Get Wrong About You?

What do other people get wrong about you? Do they make superficial assumptions because of your style, hobbies or other interests? This has been a struggle for me at various times when I find myself being too judgmental of others. Why is that such a persistent element of human nature? 

I don’t like it…particularly when I’m the one doing the judging.

We’re all complex people. For example, I’m passionate about effective, inclusive leadership and view that as the only legitimate way to shoulder the responsibility of leading others with any measure of credibility. I have a deep faith, attend a men’s small group bible study every week, and am on the Board of the Children’s Cancer Center in Tampa, FL. 

I also love tattoos, heavy metal music, and have more energy than just about everyone I know (and want to be ‘on the go’ all the time.) 

I told you…we are all complex beings.

So, where does that place me on the assumptions continuum? Am I a decent person, a scary person, or maybe just like you…unique in my own way?

I struggle with judging others and work hard to minimize the impact. My approach is (usually) this: if they’re not hurting anyone, they’re okay with me.

What do others get wrong about you? And, how do you combat the instinct to judge others and risk getting it all wrong?

Thanks for being here.

Jay

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Refuge

Sometimes the combined pressure of work, personal relationships and societal expectations can be a bit too much. Many times that pressure isn’t negative, it can simply be…a lot.

Layer on top the role leaders play and you can quickly find yourself on a collision course with reality. 

Having it all together, all the time, for everyone, is a tall order even for the most effective person.

So, what are we to do? Let the stress overwhelm us? Have a breakdown? Curl up in a ball all weekend trying to gather the energy to face it all again on Monday?

Of course not.

Life is not only about work…or relationships…or what society thinks of us. 

It starts with us. Finding ourselves. Feeling comfortable in our own skin. And, ultimately not giving a damn what society thinks.

Refuge begins on the inside.

At least it does for me. It also begins with a focus on my faith before anything else.

That has been, and continues to be, the most important step to successfully navigate the world around me.

What is your refuge?

Thanks for being here.

Jay

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Green Shoots

How do you view the junior members of your team? Do you cling to the concept that “they’re not quite ready?” If that’s where you’re at…and that’s okay…do you have a plan in place so you’ll know when they are ready?

You can’t have it both ways.

I’m not necessarily talking about succession planning, that is a far more complex and rarely executed well strategy.

The opportunity for us all is to follow one of my core leadership tenets: risk. When we identify someone on our teams who has potential, we need to explore what they can do. And that can be messy in the beginning.

Think about putting in a new lawn. The yard is muddy, we spread grass seed, and then we let those seeds find their way.

Just like with our team members. We drop them into new experiences, and normally expect them to thrive immediately. That philosophy makes no sense to me. We need to let them learn and grow. Just like those grass seeds. 

So back to my opening question…when will those employees be ready? Perhaps it’s time to reconsider whether the ‘gut instinct’ you have about people is enough in today’s world of work?

Instead, why not build out a specific development plan that ensures you’ll not only have the leadership talent required down the road, but that those same up and coming leaders will give you the benefit of the doubt and actually stay.

Thanks for being here.

Jay

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Little Moments

We often think of leadership moments as charismatic performances that sway organizational direction toward success.

Actually, they’re… 

Not always in the middle of a crisis,

Not always driving your vision forward,

Not always hammering through your competition.

Sometimes…the most impactful leadership moments are the littlest ones…

A smile,

A handshake,

A check-in,

A text,

A look,

A coffee,

A thank you.

What little moments do you embrace as a leader?

Thanks for being here.

Jay

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You’re on Mute (thankfully)

There’s always one person on the team who gets so fired up they just can’t…well...they just can’t stop talking about how exciting things are.

You know them well. Seemingly amped up all the time…and that’s a good thing…most of the time. At other times you’d like them to take a breath!

C’mon man…let someone else in here. Am I right?

Fortunately I have such a profound level of self-awareness that I’m absolutely 100% totally confident that on our team I am certainly not…or…I am mostly 90% sure that…um…I’m reasonably sure that my colleagues understand why I…

…oh crap, it’s me.

I’m that guy.

Sorry everyone. Feel free to put me on mute whenever I get too fired up.

(In fairness to me, over the last few years we have been crushing it and that’s something to get excited about!)

Thanks for being here.

Jay

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