Finding My Way

I'm not exactly sure when it happened, but I've found myself in somewhat of an awkward place. 

Professionally, I have a terrific job with a company that is being recognized in the industry and growing fast. I love human resources work...it just matches everything that I believe is important about the life and success of an organization. 

That all sounds pretty good, right?

But...
Somehow, though, a cynical view has snuck up on me. 

I don't like that. 

I don't want to be someone who complains about the complainers. I don't want to sound like the angry guy who is just another know-it-all. I don't want to be someone who isn't living the way he truly wants to live.

So...I'm doing something about it. A huge part of my personality is based (often times as the brunt of jokes) on being overly positive. Sometimes even missing the reality of a situation because I refuse to see anything but the positive side!

That personality trait...that I have relied on to carry me through for so many years...has become a bit more elusive lately. 

I don't like that either.

Getting Focused
I'm going to dial-in more than ever to what used to be my default reaction, to an intentional, thoughtful response to the world around me. 

Staying positive has to be the starting place. 
Staying positive has to be my go-to style. 
Ending positively has to be the way.

Maybe this all sounds hokey. Probably true. But for me, taking a proactive approach to how I live my life versus my "life living me" is essential. I've taken big steps in my health, faith, nutrition and fitness. Now it's time to lock down the last and most challenging part...

...my mindset.

How About You
What has become elusive in your life? What behaviors have crept in that you want to lock down? Don't be afraid of confronting them...you can do it!

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.

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It's Time to Suffer

"I'm not good enough."

"I'm not going to get that new job."

"I really messed up that relationship."

"It's my own fault...I just can't handle all this pressure."

"I'll never have an opportunity to get ahead here."

Our Mind: Friend or Foe?
The often discussed - and even more frequently "heard" - minds of ours can be so powerful that we sometimes get lost, literally, in them.

I try to use my self-talk machine to help me stay positive, fired up for each new day, and to keep moving forward. I'm obsessed with constant motion.

However, that does not mean that those voices in my head don't do their best to derail me and turn me into a quivering mass of jello.

Self-talk is powerful. 

No, We Aren't Supposed to Suffer
For some reason when we stumble, the thought comes into our heads that we must be punished. Why is that?

Guilt?
Sadness?
Resentment?
Disappointment?
Embarrassment?

It doesn't make any sense. Yet, I completely understand why someone might feel that way...because I have felt that way too.

What is it about "not being perfect every time" that makes us think we need to experience emotional pain or stress? 

Have we set such unrealistic expectations of ourselves that each mistake or wrong decision must be punished?

Whoa! That is a lot of pressure!

How About You
How do you handle setbacks or disappointments, particularly when you have contributed to them? 

Does your mind kick in to overdrive and begin the attack on...you; or, have you developed a way to sidestep that very human reaction, and follow a different path?

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.

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Absolutely Positive!

I write a lot about leaders striving to be better (including me!) Often those messages are embedded in real life examples of leadership failures (including me again!).

But here's the thing...so much of what happens around us...to us...and for us...is because of...

...us!

All In My Mind
I am often 'accused' of having such a positive outlook that I don't have a real grasp of reality. I LOVE THAT! So what it is that has made the Jay-Filter so effective despite problems, stress, mistakes, pressure, even bigger mistakes, and failure?

Every corporate setting I've been exposed to (large or small) comes with a dose of the aforementioned challenges. Dwelling on those problems, for some, is a competency they have perfected after years of practice.

I don't love that.

However, finding the opportunity in every problem that blows up in our face...seeing the potential...interpreting the chaos as a challenge to be world-class...is something that has made an enormous difference in my life, both personally and professionally.

Stop It
Have you practiced your negativity skill a bit too long? Is complaining about everything that is wrong with the world your comfort zone?

Why?

Does it make you feel better?
Does it improve the operations of your organization?
Does your team create amazing results because of the negative environment?

Um, no, no and no.

How About You
Life is full of negative things...that isn't going to change. What can change however is what you do about them. 

Get fired up!

Laugh off the madness, and charge ahead (even if you don't know what to do next)!

...and most of all...find the good each day! It's all around you!

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.

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Flowers 'AND' Weeds

I put a lot of energy into (trying) to be a positive person. I'm talking...fired-up, today is awesome, I love everybody and everything...kind of positive. It's not fake, or insincere. It's who I am.

Being Human
Despite my commitment to being Mr. Positivity, I often do battle with an old nemesis when it comes to maintaining that positive focus:

My brain.

The self-talk machine that we all carry around in our heads can be a powerful foe. It's as if we've been hardwired to "go negative" when things happen. Right?

So many questions...
- Why did this happen?
- What could I have done differently?
- Will this create more problems for me down the road?
- Who is this going to impact?

But, wait a minute here. It's as if our brain is trying to trick us into watering the negative weeds that grow in our heads.

And the 'talk' persists...
- I am a failure.
- I am no good.
- I am embarrassed.
- I am losing it.

When does it stop?!

'AND'
I think the old adage of "powering through" in these moments doesn't really apply here (or anywhere for that matter.) Powering through negative feelings is simply not realistic or healthy.

Perhaps there is another way to reconcile that self-talk? 

AND.

Instead of the self-defeating messages we seem to have playing in a loop, maybe we could try a different approach.

"I made the wrong decision for the team; AND I am still a valuable member of the organization."

"I wish I had said something different in that moment; AND I'm thankful that relationship is still as strong as it ever was."

"When I look back, I can think of so many other things I should have done; AND I recognize that no one gets everything right...I'm human just like everyone else."

AND gives us perspective.
AND shows us a more complete picture of our world.
AND allows us to water those amazing flowers in our lives.
AND changes everything.

How About You
Maybe it's time you added one simple word into your self-talk monologue? It might make a really big difference.

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.

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Get Off My Lawn

I have become an angry old man.

You see, getting (a bit) older is an interesting thing. While I try really hard to be a positive force in my little world, I can sometimes fall in the trap of...well...not being so positive.

Those Darn Leaders
The curse of high expectations can be costly. On one hand I work extremely hard to ensure phenomenal results are achieved; and, I can also be critical when junior-level leaders try hard but repeatedly fall short.

Get off my lawn you struggling leaders!

Those Darn Team Members
I'm blessed to help lead an organization that is absolutely loaded with bright young minds. Their energy is infectious, and pushes me to keep bringing my A-game each day. Except, I fall into my own expectations-trap.

I expect those fired up young minds to understand everything I already have been exposed to and learned over many years. Sigh. Another #JayFail.

Get off my lawn you young people!

Those Darn Executives
Ah, at least I can rely on all of the executives leading organizations around the globe! They are my "angry old man" salvation, for sure!

But wait...did I just hear one (er, all!) of them say they don't have time for social media, branding, have any time to spend with employees, or mentor a young motivated leader because they have more meetings?

What is happening?
Excuses? Meetings? Noise!

When did policies, process, busy calendars and egos take over our passion for leadership?

Get off my lawn you scared executives!

How About You
Have you become angry in your "old age?" Well, I for one am done with being the old angry guy in the corner of the conference room. Complaining doesn't support new leaders, educate motivated young employees, or call-out stressed executives.

Action + a positive attitude does all of these things and more!

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.

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Pulling a Fast One

NEWSFLASH! - "I'm trying my best!"

In My Head

Despite what I think sometimes...

Despite what others want me to be...

Despite the pressure I'm under to be everything for everyone...

Despite the self-talk that occasionally tries to 'go negative'...

Despite the change in the world that is bad...

Despite my blind spots that miss all of the good things in the world...

Despite what I thought should happen...

Despite my failings...

Powering Through

So, instead I think differently..

So, instead I accept that I can not be 'that' person...

So, instead I accept the pressure and go for it anyway...

So, instead I battle my self-talk, and win the argument...

So, instead I take action against the bad...

So, instead I challenge myself to see more clearly...

So, instead I embrace what is happening...

So, instead I accept that I will struggle, and improve...

How About You

What do your battles look like...sound like...feel like? Even though I am part of an amazing community, there is always the internal struggle that is part of what makes each of us unique, and crazy, and special all at the same time.

Sometimes it can feel as if life has pulled a fast one on us. But the reality is that life is doing exactly what it is supposed to do. All we have to do is...try our best. 

Life is good!

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.

Be Positive Everyday? What?

Leaders...um, I mean people... are negative, and cynical, and snarky...and apparently that seems to be an appropriate excuse for behavior that never seems to change.

Our leadership colleagues lament the never ending struggle to build the right corporate culture that has high levels of engagement, strong retention, and breakthrough performance from the team.

...and they will continue to lament...because that's what most ineffective leaders do.

Your Team Is Not the Problem
It's fascinating to watch and listen as leaders spend massive amounts of time and energy trying to "figure out" their employees. 

Their excuses reign supreme:
- millennials
- old-timers
- ungrateful staff
- too new
- don't understand how things are done here
- not a good fit for "our culture"

As the leadership mob-mentality picks up steam, I typically either have to excuse myself to laugh in the hallway, or my eyes roll so far into the back of my head I black out for a moment.

The issues facing organizations today have little to do with figuring out employees. They have everything to do with leadership changing. Quick show of hands, how many leaders like changing their style to help their organizations compete and win?

None is the answer. Absolutely none.

Excuses for Everyone
The tricky part here is that many leaders talk about change, bang their fist on the table to show how committed they are (in the conference room, not in front of the staff), and generally make sure they have the current lingo down so they can appear as if they are in full control of what needs to be accomplished.

Well, I have to tell you...I don't believe a word of it.

When leaders bring a consistently positive approach to their work, employees notice.
When leaders bring a nonstop flow of energy to their work, employees notice.
When leaders power through difficulty and include the team, employees notice.
When leaders acknowledge that they are the root of the problem, employees notice.

How About You
What do your employees notice about you? Do they feel like some sort of science experiment that you are trying to figure out? Or, are you the rare blast of positive energy that they are longing to follow?

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.

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Arm Yourself

...with a positive approach to your work

...with a smile on your face

...with the courage to stand up for the person who is struggling

...with the common sense to see through the politics

...with the courtesy to greet everyone you encounter

...with the guts to speak out against bigotry

...with the confidence to make a positive impact

...with the compassion to care for others

...with the insight to see beyond the troubles of the moment

...with a healthy dose of humility

...with the stamina to fight through the storm

...with the motivation to keep pushing

...and the willingness to stand alone to do what's right when the other "leaders" run and hide.


I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.

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Polite Disregard

I have some favorite words. Many of my HR colleagues have the same favorites. One that is near the top of my list is accountable. I like it so much I built it into the subtitle of this blog. Recently I've started hearing that perhaps the word accountable is falling out of favor...that it is too negative...and may send a message that isn't positive enough.

What?

Have we become so politically correct that we're not allowed to lead anymore?

I'm Not Giving Up
For the record, I'm sick and tired of how politically correct the world has become. I'm all for supporting people. Anyone who knows me is clear about how positive I am...and they also know how much I despise any form of discrimination...as I've written about here and here and here.

However, the issue of holding people accountable, particularly in the context of gaining the proper alignment to execute on strategy, organizational culture, and good leadership is a non-negotiable item. 

They're Not Listening Anyway
One of the odd behaviors I continue to see in people is that despite repeated direction, communications from the company, and clear examples being demonstrated, some individuals believe they can act out in their own way "because that is just their personality."

Excuse me? Are you serious? No one is going to agree with every single decision their company makes, including me. But does that mean I can "do my own thing" because I feel that my views are the best ones?

Absolutely not!

A key component of effective leadership is supporting the organization's mission, culture, and priorities. I hate to break it to you, but if you have a problem with these things...you're the problem.

Harsh words? Maybe. Honest? Yes.

How About You
What do you do when suddenly holding others accountable is no longer en vogue? Do you allow their polite disregard for your organization's priorities to be tolerated? Or, do you step up, hold them accountable for real, and move your company forward?

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.



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