A Greatness Undone

...faith and work and charity and healthy eating and being productive and working out and caring for everyone and reading and listening and learning and growing and mentoring and leading and pushing and resting and balancing and reaching out and always being there...

Do you sometimes feel as if you've lost your greatness? As I think about all of the things I tell myself that I'm supposed to be and do and think...I wonder if mine has slipped away?

You see, we all have our own kind of greatness. It's in there. Most of time it's on display and we don't even know it.

Lately, though. Well...you know. The world changed up its cadence pretty quickly, and now we have to adjust.

So.

Adjust.

No, we don't have any rules on how to adjust the right way. We don't need them. We don't have a playbook on what is proper and what isn't. We don't need one.

We just need to remember our greatness...

...and show it.

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.

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title inspiration

Rising

Some candid stuff today...and a quick 'cut to the chase.' 

I've been doing a lot of introspective work lately. As in a L O T.

Old Habits Don't Help
Turns out my world-class skill of compartmentalizing every facet of my life turned out to be a flawed strategy. Oddly enough, as I was writing this post an incredible thread blew up on twitter discussing...well...men struggling with being human vs. some sort of fake persona that is completely unrealistic and unhealthy. Whoa! That hit close to home!

So, my personal deep dive is in full swing. 

Doing the Work
It's hard work.
At times it's humiliating work.
In the end, I hope it will represent a meaningful change on many levels.

No, I'm not hitting the bottle or having a mid-life crisis. I am simply pushing to be my best self, so that I can be the best person possible for those around me.

How About You
What challenges are you facing (or perhaps hiding from?) Are you hoping to find the courage to push yourself to a whole new level..to a new quality of life? 

As for me so far...it's been totally worth it.

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.

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It's Time to Suffer

"I'm not good enough."

"I'm not going to get that new job."

"I really messed up that relationship."

"It's my own fault...I just can't handle all this pressure."

"I'll never have an opportunity to get ahead here."

Our Mind: Friend or Foe?
The often discussed - and even more frequently "heard" - minds of ours can be so powerful that we sometimes get lost, literally, in them.

I try to use my self-talk machine to help me stay positive, fired up for each new day, and to keep moving forward. I'm obsessed with constant motion.

However, that does not mean that those voices in my head don't do their best to derail me and turn me into a quivering mass of jello.

Self-talk is powerful. 

No, We Aren't Supposed to Suffer
For some reason when we stumble, the thought comes into our heads that we must be punished. Why is that?

Guilt?
Sadness?
Resentment?
Disappointment?
Embarrassment?

It doesn't make any sense. Yet, I completely understand why someone might feel that way...because I have felt that way too.

What is it about "not being perfect every time" that makes us think we need to experience emotional pain or stress? 

Have we set such unrealistic expectations of ourselves that each mistake or wrong decision must be punished?

Whoa! That is a lot of pressure!

How About You
How do you handle setbacks or disappointments, particularly when you have contributed to them? 

Does your mind kick in to overdrive and begin the attack on...you; or, have you developed a way to sidestep that very human reaction, and follow a different path?

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.

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You Can't Bring Me Down

I thought you could use a heavy dose of my view of the last twenty years of work!

You Can't...

- make me a hater with your hate

- worry me with your rumors

- get me worked up simply because you are an insecure old-school leader

- stop me from pushing the organization forward

- slow me down from being a positive force in the company

- block me from being the mentor you wish you could be

- stand in my way from networking around the world to learn and grow

- instill any self-doubt or fear in me

- force me to follow approaches that are out of step with the modern world

You can't bring me down!

How About You
Are you ready to be an unstoppable force in your organization? Go get it!

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.

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New You? No Chance, Right?

This is not a New Year's resolutions post. Here's why...I don't think you're going to keep any of yours. January 1st has nothing to do with changing your life.

I'd rather talk about a hardcore commitment story. It's about someone who struggled with weight, self-control, their career, and self-esteem.

Until that someone decided to completely commit to a new life.

Early Excuses
In the beginning it wasn't hard to justify the behavior. When you're young you can bounce back from bad food choices, lack of exercise, and being undisciplined at work. The excuses come easy, and there is always 'plenty of time' to get back on track.

Along with the excuses came professional highs and low, and a waist line that seemed to follow. At some points reasonably fit...and at others...well...not so much.

Manic Excuses
As the realities of getting a bit older set in, the hyper-focus on fitness took control (in a bad way.) The workouts, without regard for injury or fatigue, became the norm. So did the pain from overuse injuries. Again and again and again.

As the self-esteem went down...the weight went back up.

Surely this must be bad luck! Or life's cruel twist? But there was more to come. 

One day, most unexpectedly, a phone call came through describing a dire situation. Not soon after, the Father was gone at 61. This was a devastating loss which sent this cycle into overdrive. Food, excuses, training, injury, low self-esteem.

Repeat.
Repeat.
Repeat.

How About You
I'm happy to report this person is doing extremely well today. A complete and total commitment to a new way of living was not just necessary, but required.

The focus on eating clean, training hard, a disciplined approach to work, and respecting the limits of what one's body can handle (usually) are now part of a consistent and high energy approach to life.

In short, I'm doing better than I have in years.

So, as you look forward, regardless of the date on the calendar, I hope you too will find the balance, discipline, and drive to dominate every part of your life. I believe in myself now...and I believe in you too.

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.

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The Scars Inside You (2015 edition)

Ahhh, the last week of the year. The haze of Christmas and holiday cheer is still strong, and the excitement for New Year's Eve is building. This week brings an odd set of thoughts and feelings that typically don't get much air time during the other fifty-one.

Good Riddance

One of the most popular comments this week is about how anxious people are to "get this year over with." The personal and professional challenges, changes, setbacks, or unrealized hopes come into view as we prepare to turn the page on the previous year.

The scars inside suddenly become quite public.

New You

The other theme of this week will be the promises to do all things better:

- work

- exercise

- eat clean(er)

- focus on 'what's important'

In some ways all of the New You talk is another version of what didn't go well the previous year; hence, our plan to fix everything about ourselves.

More scars from the inside, showing up on the outside.

How About You

I've been a member of the Good Riddance and New You clubs for as long as I can remember. In 2015 I experienced the most change that I've ever gone through personally and professionally.

What am I going to do next year? I'm going to focus on one thing. The negative self-talk about my failures won't help me. The extra pressure I put on myself to look a certain way physically isn't going to help me achieve my goals. The burden I feel to perform at a high level professionally can't truly help me be my best.

No, there is only one thing I need to focus on next year.

My attitude. 

The way I look at it...if my attitude is right, the rest will fall into place. 

Happy New Year friends!

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.

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No Shame this Season

"When I look back upon my life,
it's always with a sense of shame.
I've always been the one to blame."

Happy Holidays?
One of the most exciting times of the year is kicking off right now...the hectic, joyous, family-oriented and festive stretch from Thanksgiving to New Year's Day. I love it...even though I know I can't see everyone that is important to me, it is still a great time of year. Plus, I will make sure I connect with those that are too far away for me to see in person.

But not everyone in our personal and professional networks will experience the holidays in this way. The burden of life's struggles, the challenge of broken relationships, the disappointment of a stalled career...can all build up to a very different view of "the best time of year."

We have an opportunity to make a difference in their lives.

Happier Holidays!
There is no simple solution to "help" our friends and colleagues. One thing is clear to me though, doing nothing adds no value. 

Here's a short, and admittedly woefully inadequate list of options available to us this year that might...if nothing else...bring a moment of caring front and center for those in need.

- call them
- connect via social media
- send a note (yes, an old school hand-written note)
- give a public shout out to let others know how special they are to you
- invite them to spend time with you
- encourage others to reach out to them
- purchase a small gift to show them you care

How About You
"So I look back upon my life,
forever with a sense of shame.
I've always been the one to blame."

Lets not have this be the mantra for those in our world this holidays season.

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.

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The Power Position

It's funny how we try to minimize the role of power in the workplace. Sometimes we use terms like "associates" or "team members" instead of employees. We try flattening our organizations, or downplaying job titles to help put people at ease. 

Yet in the end, everyone is keenly aware of who has the authority to make decisions, and who does not. We haven't fooled anyone; nor is anyone racing to join our companies because we've mastered the employment semantics game.

Perceptions of Power
I'm convinced that even for those that abuse power, they still do not fully realize their impact. Even the most subtle comments or nonverbal cues are discussed and analyzed behind-the-scenes. 

Do leaders know this is happening? Maybe. Do they take the time to think through how they might take advantage (in a good way!) of this analysis and grapevine chatter? Rarely. 

Leaders today often get so caught up in "their world" that they simply can no longer effectively engage with other members of the organization outside of the leadership circle.

Perception Is Reality 
One of the most effective ways leaders can use their power is when they reverse the power position. Allowing employees to teach, or offer their expertise not only sends a message that you're human (imagine that?!), but it also lets the employee know that they have value.

Leaders like to feel valued, right? Guess what? Your employees/associates/team members want to feel valued too. Making it a priority to elevate the self-esteem of your staff will not only connect them to the organization, but will help build your internal reputation as a good leader. 


How About You
Who has the power in your organization? Is it ever shared with the employees? If not, you may want to consider switching the power position once in a while. It might surprise you how effective a strategy it can be.

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.




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Self-Esteem Comes First

How important is self-esteem?  Is it a priority in your leadership style?  It should be. All the strategy, data analysis, planning, fancy buildings, social media tools and shrinking budgets in the world pale in comparison to focusing on self-esteem.  And I don't mean your self-esteem.


There's No "You" in "Team"
Am I suggesting that the items I listed above are not important?  Of course not.  But they don't come first.  The people come first.  The ones that do the work, execute on your plans, engage with your customers, help manage costs, and drive innovation. They need you to maintain or improve their self-esteem.    


Easy to Say, Hard to Do

Maintaining or enhancing self-esteem is easy to do when you like the other person, or when a team member has done something amazing. However, doesn't it seem more difficult to do when you are sick and tired of the other person: a poor performer,  or you wish they didn't work for you, or you can't stand your boss...etc?  I thought so.  So what should we do about it?


Rise above, that's what.  You're the leader, not a high school kid who's worrying about who is being seen with whom.  Get over yourself.  I know I need to sometimes.


How About You
How are you going to connect with people today?  Particularly the ones that aren't on your holiday party invite list.  Will you turn the other way as they approach; or, will they get an unexpected visit to pump them up.  Are you going to rise above?


I'd love to hear from you.


No Excuses.




pic courtesy of Self-Esteem Shop