I've seen too many leaders believe they are putting on a politically correct public face, and yet behave poorly behind closed doors. Why does this behavior persist? I'm not sure who they believe they are fooling but it never works.
Employees are smart.
Employees see through thinly disguised compassion.
It's a shame, actually. Good intentions end up wasted on a compulsion for control, constantly being in-the-know, and generally convincing themselves that without them everything would fall apart.
Everything? Really?
Um, no.
So how do we support those who have lost their way and are caught up in their own echo chamber of leadership destiny?
- Call them out on their behavior in a closed door meeting?
- Publicly shame them?
Neither one of these options sound reasonable to me. Remember, we're talking about two-faced leaders...that means they do have redeeming qualities in one of their 'faces'...we just need to tap into that 'good side!'
Here are my three keys to addressing the behavior in a direct, non-emotional or judgmental way.
1. Meet privately and tell them you need them to allow you the grace to share some feedback, and that you in turn will demonstrate the same grace for them to react.
2. Give them examples of their strengths, and how you have specifically witnessed the behavior that is concerning and its impact on others in the organization.
3. Offer to serve as a sounding board for them going forward so they do not feel as if they've been accused and abandoned; but rather, have a colleague who is truly interested in helping them improve their leadership style.
What do you think? Can the two-faced leader be helped...or am I once again being too positive?
Thanks for being here.
Jay
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