Wednesday, July 30, 2014
"It's always up to me. These employees are full of complaints but I'm the one who has to stop what I'm doing and get things back on track."
"When things get tense around here, it seems like I'm the only one that has the courage to step up and hold people accountable. It's wearing me out."
"Why does he behave that way? Can't we just have a normal conversation about these issues?"
It's On Me
So often in the life of a leader we are pulled into the role of The Fixer. You know what I'm talking about...we're the ones who everyone else expects to jump in and resolve the tension and smooth things over. Why is it that the people around us are willing to fan the drama-flames, yet are unable to see their own role in turning that spark into a fire?
Sadly, those that are so comfortable stirring the pot often miss how draining it can be to "fix" things. Since they are rarely involved in cleaning up the mess they create, they do not realize the physical and mental toll it takes on those of us who have to jump in (again and again) to save the day.
Ultimately we only have ourselves to blame I guess. We've allowed certain behaviors to occur repeatedly, and in in order to keep the peace we end up fixing everything.
When was the last time you stepped back and said "no more!" Have you given yourself the freedom to no longer be subservient to those around you; and instead focus on driving accountability into the situation? If not, it's time. You do not need to own their behavior. You do not need to feel compelled to come to the rescue...and you certainly do not need to feel guilty that you need to do anything at all.
The people around you are adults. They can be responsible for themselves.
Tough HR love? Maybe. Necessary? Absolutely.
How About You
Set yourself free today. Decide that you are going to separate being supportive from playing the role of The Fixer. Ironically, when we shift into fix-it mode we're actually allowing the people around us to continue their lazy self-centered ways. Are you ready to be free?
I'd love to hear from you.