My Great Balancing Failure

There are some things in my life that are so elusive that I’ve recently found myself giving up on any realistic opportunity to achieve them. One of the most elusive, and perhaps the one I’m most in need of is…

…balance.

There are many different types of balance of course: work, church, exercise, volunteering, friendships, significant-other relationships, family time, hobbies, and on and on.

Candidly, I don’t feel like I have balance in any of these areas. 

With so many books, articles and other blog posts available on this topic you would think that I had figured out a system that works best for me. 

But, no. 

My solution? Go full speed, most of the time, in everything.

And just to make things a bit more complicated…for some reason I have been blessed (or cursed) with massive amounts of energy.

So…I’m actually able to go full speed, most of the time, in everything.

Maybe I’m overthinking balance. Just maybe, balance, for me, is to do everything I possibly can, for as many people that I can, for as long as I can?

Am I on to something? Long-awaited clarity perhaps? Chasing balance may not be the goal…instead, embracing my full life might just be the answer.

What is that elusive thing for you? 

Thanks for being here.

Jay

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Old Tapes

I've made a bit of a breakthrough over the last year or so. It had to do with my willingness to be honest with myself. I mean really honest.

I needed to overcome old tapes that kept playing in my head. Tapes that told me I was never going to measure up in my personal life. Tapes that said I wasn't good enough professionally to make a real difference. Tapes that said...you're just not who you think you are.

Well, those old tapes were wrong.

It took me a while to figure that out though. Whether it was imposter syndrome affecting me, or simply that endless self-talk we all have to manage that had gone astray. I finally started to transition those tapes out of my head. Not completely though...I'm not sure they will ever go away permanently.

The difference for me is a combination of faith, a commitment to my physical health, discipline around my nutrition, and reaching out to others. New friends...old friends...and allowing myself to be more vulnerable.

That last one is a bit scary, but I'm going with it anyway.

What tapes are playing in your head?

Thanks for being here.

Jay

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The HR Leadership Crisis / Opportunity

It’s easy to fall into the excuse trap that “the world of work has forever changed, so now we can all lean on that as a reason to do nothing” mindset.

That approach does not work for me.

Consider the possibilities in front of us as human resources executives to:

- build a strategic plan that aligns with your organization’s growth strategy

- build a contemporary talent acquisition strategy that accelerates your employer brand

- build a proactive engagement strategy that not only protects your culture, but moves it forward in ways you had not previously considered

Am I the only one who is fired up about the potential in front of us? I hope not.

Sure, there is pressure to build these plans. But for me, that is what leadership is all about. Embrace the pressure, seize the opportunity, and lead boldly.

Let’s make this happen.

Thanks for being here.

Jay

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I'm Fine

Tough topic. My mental health. And some tough questions too.

Shouldn't I have a bigger circle of close friends?

Shouldn't I be more open?

Shouldn't I be able to handle the pressure I'm under?

Shouldn't it be easy to be available for everyone who needs me whenever they need me?

Shouldn't I be strong 24/7?

It's taken a long time to sort through these. Considering the answer to each of these questions is so short, you might assume it wasn't difficult to get to that answer.

Well, it was.

Finding ways to examine how I was feeling...really feeling...took time. More importantly it took courage (at least it did for me) to look at myself and say I couldn't handle it all sometimes.

That was really hard.

So I set out finding solutions instead of just suffering. I turned more heavily to my faith; I hired a personal trainer and a nutrition coach; and I even committed to getting out on the water regularly to just...

...be.

There are people things to figure out too...that's going to take some extra time.

Oh, and the answer to all of those questions? 

It was, and still is an emphatic 'no.'

Thanks for being here.

Jay

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Finding Me

Someone very close to me recently told me I needed to rediscover who I am. 

At first I wasn't quite sure what to make of that feedback. However, knowing it was sincere and said in a way that was thoughtful and caring, I knew I needed to allow myself to let that concept settle in.

So, how does one rediscover themself?

For me, this journey started with how I ended up "lost" in the first place. 

Was it a long marriage that ended in divorce? 

Was it a relationship from several years ago that just didn't quite work out?

Was it how I protected myself emotionally (despite being incredibly active with work, family, fitness, church, socializing, etc.)?

Answer: yes, to all of the above.

Wrapping my head around this has proven to be more difficult than I expected. As I'm writing, this feedback is still very fresh. 

Being vulnerable with others has not worked out for me very often. And thus, I close off emotionally even more. I bet you couldn't tell though. That probably needs to change, don't you think?

Rediscovering myself? I'm going to be very intentional about that...in fact, the process has already begun.

Thanks for being here.

Jay

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New Beginnings

Hello friends.

It's been a really long time. I've needed the break. It feels like just about every part of my world has turned upside down since I was last writing consistently. I've missed the outlet...I've missed the No Excuses community...and I've missed the chance to...breathe.

Effective leadership is still my passion; however it's time to expand this platform to address other types of leadership in addition to our careers. 

What about our mental health?

What about our relationships?

What about our faith?

What about our passions outside of work that make such a dramatic impact in all facets of our lives?

The No Excuses philosophy applies to each of these areas just as effectively as it does to the workplace.

This is the path I feel called to explore. It may not resonate with you and that is okay. No Excuses has always been personal for me. You all have been incredibly kind to give it a read once in a while and offer your perspective and for that I am forever grateful.

So, here we go...new beginnings in a comfortable place. 

Thanks for being here.

Jay

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Age of Excuse

Somehow the leadership space seems to have turned upside down. It happened in slow motion...sort of. Sensitive issues moved to the front page and that made people nervous, the whole vaccine saga continues to play out, and our oddly polarized society seems to think each of us must rally behind either a far right or far left leader.

How about we pause for a moment?

Basics

For many years I've taken pride in how I react to the fires that pop up. I run toward them, not away. I want to talk about the spark that started the fire, what dynamics created the circumstances that led to the conditions being right for the fire to start, and I certainly want to have a candid discussion about how to avoid that fire ever starting again.

To me, this is basic leadership.

What seems to have happened though, is that many leaders would prefer to pick sides and place blame. Most either want to avoid uncomfortable conversations or simply pick a group to align themselves with and then go all in.

Why?

Isn't one of the most basic leadership principles that we think for ourselves? That we question what is going on and why? Aren't we supposed to talk with our colleagues about why something is happening?

Courage

Maybe leaders today have simply gotten soft? It's easier to hide and avoid the heavy lifting required to actually lead. So, instead they just glide over the tough issues, and "expect people to behave professionally." 

I submit that many leaders today have lost courage. Their focus is on a CYA approach to managing, not leading, and the results have played out everywhere.

Clearly this doesn't apply to everyone. I know many leaders who take bold steps inside their organizations to raise issues; they challenge cowardly thinking; and push their organizations to do the right thing.

Why isn't that a core competency for leaders in our complicated world?

How About You

Please share your perspective with me. Have I become cynical; or, has leadership changed in our hyper-political pandemic-laden society?

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.

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