I have a busy professional life. I'm expected to deal with some of the most intense confrontations in the workplace, make decisions on the fly, lead others, and give feedback and my perspective on a variety of issues. That last point, feedback and my perspective, can be one of the trickiest parts of my day.
I Hear You, But
I do my best to allow others to give me their insights into what is happening with a particular situation before I jump in. That's hard for me to do. One of my failings is that once I've heard their update and attempted to validate what they've told me, I often follow with my own comments using the word 'but.'
Once I utter that word my previous comments that affirmed their decision or perspective is instantly negated as they prepare to hear how I am going to correct them.
Really not good.
Let's try this same statement using 'and' instead...
"Your plan makes a lot of sense, and I think Mary would be a big help too."
How About You
Have you convinced yourself, like I have, that my feedback is interpreted as I intend it to be 100% of the time? If so, like me, you've failed. Our teams rely on us to be supportive and provide balanced feedback, so let's both commit to avoiding the deadly word 'but' from now on.
I'd love to hear from you.