Despite my commitment to being Mr. Positivity, I often do battle with an old nemesis when it comes to maintaining that positive focus:
The self-talk machine that we all carry around in our heads can be a powerful foe. It's as if we've been hardwired to "go negative" when things happen. Right?
So many questions...
- Why did this happen?
- What could I have done differently?
- Will this create more problems for me down the road?
- Who is this going to impact?
But, wait a minute here. It's as if our brain is trying to trick us into watering the negative weeds that grow in our heads.
And the 'talk' persists...
- I am a failure.
- I am no good.
- I am embarrassed.
- I am losing it.
When does it stop?!
I think the old adage of "powering through" in these moments doesn't really apply here (or anywhere for that matter.) Powering through negative feelings is simply not realistic or healthy.
Perhaps there is another way to reconcile that self-talk?
Instead of the self-defeating messages we seem to have playing in a loop, maybe we could try a different approach.
"I made the wrong decision for the team; AND I am still a valuable member of the organization."
"I wish I had said something different in that moment; AND I'm thankful that relationship is still as strong as it ever was."
"When I look back, I can think of so many other things I should have done; AND I recognize that no one gets everything right...I'm human just like everyone else."
AND gives us perspective.
AND shows us a more complete picture of our world.
AND allows us to water those amazing flowers in our lives.
AND changes everything.
Maybe it's time you added one simple word into your self-talk monologue? It might make a really big difference.
I'd love to hear from you.