Soft Skills Are the New Black

I’ve had some unique opportunities in my career to work with incredibly bright people. They had decades of experience, knew the industry inside and out, and could piece together all of the complex parts of a health system to move things forward.

They were really something…except for one minor little detail.

Being Human

One of the great downfalls of executive leadership (ahem, read here — excuse) is the focus on results exclusively. Yes, results are very important. Without them organizations would cease to exist. However, when results are the only thing considered something equally as important is lost.

The hard skills that are often associated with talented leaders fail to provide most of the leadership necessary in today’s world of work. At the executive level competency is a requirement, just as the specialized management path those leaders have been on is important before they move into a generalized management role. Otherwise the opportunity to move into the executive ranks would never have materialized in the first place.

But the obsession with results comes at a high cost.

Leading Human

One of my new mantras is the following...

“Relationships first…results second.” 

Without those other skills…soft skills…leaders quickly earn a reputation as a hard-ass-know-it-all. 

Other leaders scramble to manage the messages these people send…or pull them aside for special ‘coaching’ sessions to try and avoid plummeting morale, or outright migrations of talented people who don’t want to work with such hard-nosed and arrogant leaders.

Laughing off soft skills as unimportant is like walking down the hallways of your organization and insulting your employees to their face. 

Employees want to work in a good place. Relationships make organizations good. Arrogance destroys them.

How About You

Have you brushed up on your soft skills lately; or, are you too busy promulgating your vision for how to save the organization? Maybe you need to slow down the next time you pass a mirror and take a good long look. If you have problems in every area of the organization, well, maybe the problem is you.

I’d love to hear from you.

No Excuses. 

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It's The How

Over the years I've had the privilege of working with a lot of really smart people. Whether they were in formal or informal leadership roles, practiced clinically or worked in finance, information technology, marketing, and yes human resources, my industry is packed with really bright people. Over those same years I've seen many of those bright people struggle mightily and in some cases fail. Why? They knew "what" to do, they just never mastered the "how."

Soft Skills Can Kill You
I've written in the past about how much I dislike the term soft skills. I've finally realized that the term must have come from those individuals who are terrible at dealing with people effectively, so they tried to downplay that skill set and called it soft. Those are some of the same leaders I've seen who have failed miserably. That's a shame, really. All of that knowledge and brain power wasted because they never figured out how to interact with people.

Old Dogs and New Tricks
A phrase that comes up again and again in my human resources practice has to do with someones personality. "Oh, that's just his personality." Or, "she has one of those personalities that you just have to learn to deal with." I completely disagree with this perspective.

"Making excuses for someones behavior simply because none of the organization's leaders had the backbone to address it does not make it right."

Old behaviors that might have worked when Richard Nixon was President no longer apply to the modern workplace. Sadly, we still see leaders that believe either avoiding a problem or using an iron fist will solve everything.

Nothing could be further from the truth, and it's actually embarrassing for those that still try to use these approaches.

How About You
Have you spent so much time learning "the what" that you've neglected "the how?" Maybe it's time to rethink your delivery, and not worry so much about the accuracy of every little idea. Or, perhaps you know a good leader who has let "the what" get in the way of their work. Today might be a good day to help them out with "the how"...before it's too late.

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.



photo credit

LOW AND SLOW

Some of us have developed personal mantras that have a powerful, albeit private meaning.  These mantras can prove to be very useful in times of frustration, stress, or quite frankly, when we’re sick and tired of hearing another complaint.  Sometimes we can fall into a trap and get…well…LOUD.  That is easy for me to do.

LOUD IS NOT THE NEW SOFT

I’ve always found it curious that effective interpersonal skills are often called soft skills.  Odd really, when you think about it.  For those of us that have been exposed to extremely difficult leaders who consider an abrasive leadership style a strength, soft is about the last word that comes to mind.  So, why when these moments are handled well does the term “soft” come in to play?

TIME TO GET LOW

One of the things I find fascinating when emotions are running high is the apparent correlation between the level of stress in a person and the tone of their voice.  The more frantic they are, the higher the voice.  This is where the first half of my mantra comes in to play – LOW.  I need to maintain a low tone of voice.  That is hard for me to do.

THE NEED FOR SPEED

A companion to the shrill that comes with emotionally charged exchanges is what appears to be a gene that triggers our rate of speech when we’re upset.  The more intense the encounter, the faster we speak.  As if getting our position out first means we win! Crazy, I know.  Enter the second half of my little mantra – SLOW.  I need to maintain a slow rate of speech.  If you speak slowly, you-control-the-pace-of-the-conversation.  That is hard for me to do too.

SOFT IS THE NEW LOUD

Sounds simple doesn’t it?  For me, it has been a life long struggle to maintain Low and Slow.  In these intense moments the hockey coach in me wants to come out; and, I allow myself on the inside to check the other person into the boards.  



But on the outside, it HAS to be Low and Slow. 

Always.

WHAT ABOUT YOU

How do you get through those moments when you would prefer to commit a felony rather than work through the real issues on the table?  How do you keep yourself in check so you don’t lose the respect of those around you?  What is your mantra?

I’d love to hear from you.

No Excuses.

Pics courtesy of onlineinvestingai.com and cdnbleacherreport.net