Invisible Boundaries

Balance.
Crossing the line.
Setting expectations.
Role clarity.

Boundaries.

Work/Life Boundaries at Work
Okay, I need to say right away...I struggle with this. In my mind, I need to be available, on-call, and ready to jump into the action at any moment. That's what leaders do, right? 

We're available!

We've decided to forgo a large part of our personal life for the greater good of the organization!

We're role models of leadership effectiveness!

Well, I do love being all of those things...but I'm learning that I don't love being all of those things, all the time.

Boundaries at Home
Where is the balance point between committed leader, and committed person outside of work?

Where is that fine line that separates "dedicated" from hurtful intrusion? 

Is there a sign I should be looking for; or, perhaps that sign comes in the form of a tangled plan that is influenced by our work?

There is no easy answer. One of the thrills of leadership, for me, is the action and drama and sudden intensity that requires a savvy response as the "world" is getting all worked up. But when that world is always worked up it can begin to negatively impact our personal lives.

That's not good...for us as people, or as leaders.

How About You
How do you find the 'life balance' that integrates all of your responsibilities? Where do you draw the lines that ensure you don't give too much of yourself away?

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.

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Getting to Neutral

He was on the fast track. Brought in to the organization to help turnaround a woefully ineffective department. His arrival was filled with high energy, creative ideas, and a level of brainpower not seen in that department before. Fundamental problems were tackled, poor performers were moved out, and a new team was born. Everything was on the right track.

Until it wasn't anymore.

Being Really Smart is Good

Our specialized world has seen the role of generalists fade into history. Whether we're talking about information technology, engineering, health care, human resources, or a host of other professions, it is rare to see someone who can jump from role to role and not only understand the details, but also create valuable work product. 

When we find leaders that are bright enough to understand the details of a job and have the interpersonal skill set to bring the team along too it's terrific. This combination of brainpower and personality can make all the difference in the life of a team.

Being Unable to Understand Boundaries is Really Bad

We all struggle to work with people who are really bright, yet lack the leadership awareness to understand how crucial interpersonal skills are when leading others. How can this be? Perhaps the most important leadership skill of all is the ability to communicate effectively. So where have we failed the bright minds that can contribute so much, yet end up failing miserably because they can not interact with others? 

Whether they are socializing too closely with their team members, participating in office gossip, or clearly showing who their "favorites" are, these leaders ultimately fail due to their inability to understand how important boundaries are in the workplace.

Should the organization tell new leaders that they aren't supposed to socialize with their direct reports? Is it a secret that playing favorites will ultimately bring down the leader, not the people who aren't on their favorites list? Isn't this obvious?

 

Being Humble is Really Necessary

So how does the leader attempt to salvage an almost impossible situation? The first step is understanding that they are wrong. Simply because they are smart and have a vision of how things are supposed to be means nothing. 

Crossing the line with the team negates the innovative ideas, breakthrough thinking, and opportunities further down the line in their careers. Everything stops until self-awareness kicks in.

The second step, and most difficult of all, is to publicly acknowledge their failings. This is where most leaders bristle at the thought and fall short of the potential for turning their situation around. You see the world loves giving people second chances. We all watch as tearful apologies are aired over and over on television. Why do we watch? Because we get a level of satisfaction from knowing we were right, they were wrong, and now things can get back to normal. Right?

How About You

The long and painful process of recognizing personal failure is not easy to get through. The only real goal is to hope that through a sustained effort of publicly apologizing to the team, truly changing behavior, and improving one's interpersonal skill set that one day that leader will get to a level of neutral with the team. Neutral isn't sexy, but it beats the heck out of failure.

I'd love to hear from you.

  

No Excuses.

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When Leaders Push Too Far

I'll admit it.  Occasionally I get a bit too fired up for my own good.  A topic comes up that I'm passionate about and I get ahead of myself.  In my enthusiasm to express how important the issue is (to me), I might overlook the other people involved. Passion is good...but blowing past your colleagues is not.


Department Leader or Organizational Leader
One of the dilemmas we face as HR leaders is that our view of "work" is not just the cost center we are assigned .  In many ways the organization is our department.  Think about it, how many of you come to work and only think about HR?  If you do, ahem, it's time for a change.  


Since we're tasked with providing organizational leadership, what should the smooth HR practitioner do when areas beyond their direct span of control are a mess and the leadership over those areas is woefully slow to respond?

Hello rock and a hard place.


Silos?  What Silos?
Diving in to help is what we in HR do, right?  We all have that cape hanging on the back of our office doors that we can quickly put on as we fly off to save the day.  The problem is, our colleagues may not necessarily want us to come in and solve  their problems.  Heck, they may not even realize they have a problem.  It's our job to be calm, professional, and passionate about the reality of the situation when we explain:


1. What is really going on
2. What the specific impact is on the organization
3. What the options are to move forward


Skipping these three steps and becoming a Super Hero Problem-Solver will more than likely alienate your colleague, not bring you closer.  Remember, you are the internal consultant and should treat that leader as a client, not someone who has missed the boat.


How About You
Do you fall into the trap of "knowing just what needs to be done" and you aren't shy about letting everyone know?  I hate it when I act that way. Maybe we should only be Super Heroes after hours?

I'd love to hear from you.


No Excuses.






pics courtesy of Integral Options and Cafe Press

I Learned the Hard Way...Again

I hate saying no.  As an HR professional and leader it just never makes sense for me to refuse anyone.  After all, they're reaching out to me for support.  I'm supposed to be there for them, right?


Getting Played

One of the major pitfalls of having "can't-say-no syndrome" is that some people will take advantage; and, despite doing this type of work for years, I sometimes don't recognize it when it's happening.  Shame on me.  I've learned that I have to stay focused so I can be the "player", and not be the one getting played.  I hate it when I learn the hard way.


And I sure don't like getting played.

Lots To Do
I also don't like falling behind with my workload.  Sure, I'm busy just like everyone else but I find that if I never set any boundaries, I'm the one that ends up being too far behind.  In effect, I learn the hard way - again.


I really don't like learning the hard way.


Trust and Verify
Am I contradicting myself?  Should HR professionals start saying no to those in need?  No way.   I'm advocating that we trust everyone who comes to us for support, and then verify the facts as quickly as possible.  We have to deliver world-class service...and we also have to make sure we hold others accountable.  This is hard for me to do.  


How About You
Do you struggle with how much of yourself to give to others?  Do you find yourself falling behind because you haven't managed your boundaries effectively?  How did you solve this dilemma?


I'd love to hear from you.


No Excuses.






pic courtesy of East Side FM

Social Media - A Double-Edged Sword?

It's funny how things evolve.  Until recently I often used google to search for information, now I simply reach out to my own network on twitter or linkedin. Professionally I have a growing, and very important group of people who I can rely on to get feedback, kick ideas around, and candidly tell me if I'm completely off-base.  It's an unexpected and wonderful change in my life.


I've also embraced facebook in my personal life.  I have reconnected with old friends from years ago as many others have done.  However, it's also become a great way for my family to connect and joke with each other.  Additionally, as a youth hockey coach, I am now connected with many great parents and players who have been involved with the teams I've coached for years.  


Now these two worlds are on a collision course.


Crossing the Line
I have been committed to keeping my "professional life" and "personal life" separate for a long time.  That was my way of maintaining some sense of control despite the fact that I've tried to be as transparent as possible in my evolving leadership style.  Keeping secrets and hoarding information just doesn't make sense.  But now the relationships I've built professionally have become more than just "a network."  Those distant avatars and blog addresses are becoming friends (cue the HRevolution theme music.)  That means my commitment to transparency and personal privacy is fading...fast.  



Not a Sword, But a Gift
Apparently I'm on a quest to constantly be reminded of how much I still need to learn.  Now that I've been wrestling with this issue for several months it has become clear to me that if I'm going to be a friend in return, I need to prove it.  Connecting with my network/friends beyond the safety of twitter and linkedin is a tangible way to push myself, again, out of my comfort zone.  Just for the record, I love my comfort zone.


How About You
How do you balance your social media worlds?  Are you still committed to living a double-life; or, is it time to take the next step and embrace new connections as friends?  How much more might you get out of your network if it was more than just a bunch of "professional contacts?"


I'd love to hear from you.


No Excuses.




pic courtesy of Brian Solis