No Lives Matter

"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

"Silence in the face of evil is itself evil. Not to speak, is to speak. Not to act is to act."
- Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Other than my parents, I have two heroes who have influenced my life more than any others. I've written about them many times here on NoExcusesHR.

Martin and Dietrich.

They guide me..and today I will write how I honestly feel...and try not to disappoint them. To be honest, I'm not sure I can do it. But I'm going to try.

I would like to humbly offer my voice to the #BlackBlogsMatter project.

Are You Kidding Me?
I've heard the complaints for a long time. That somehow, the deck is stacked against whites. It's as if the push to bring equality to America has somehow disenfranchised white people. 

What? You can't be serious? These excuses, that I've heard for years, are some of the most bizarre deflections for not working hard, making an impact in their jobs, and being a difference maker.

I wonder what the response would be if the events of the last few years (or centuries) were reversed, and black police officers were gunning down whites regularly? Hmmm. Maybe a different reaction?

Black lives matter.

Losing Friends
I have to admit that earlier in my life I tried to maintain friendly relationships with everyone, both personally and professionally. But, that approach was not meant to be. I reached a point where I could no longer tolerate the racist comments, cheap shots against persons of color and other vulnerable groups, and just had to say, and do something.

I lost friends.
I called out colleagues publicly.
I made it very clear where I stood...and candidly did not care if those around me who felt differently were offended. 

Black lives matter.

Standing Tall
As time passed I grew increasingly confident in my views, and fortunately, was blessed to be in an executive position with considerable influence. Make no mistake, I used that influence to achieve my agenda.

I pushed to make major changes in my organization with the Board of Trustees, which were approved, implemented, and still stand today. The details are not important here, but suffice to say issues of diversity, inclusion and equality became part of the fabric of the organization.

Black lives matter.

How About You
As you consider your legacy...yes, legacy...how would you like to be remembered? Is being a "dutiful soldier to the majority" something that feels good? Or, is there another path? Perhaps one that gives you the opportunity to be a leader for everyone in your organization...and in your life.

I can not thank my parents enough for teaching me that when groups of people are treated unfairly it is our responsibility to lead the way and support them, regardless of the criticism, peer pressure, or political fallout. We must always do the right thing.

I hope Martin and Dietrich are not disappointed. 

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.

inspiration: Sarah and Body Count
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That Time I Didn't Speak Up

Ah, if it were only one time. Maybe then I wouldn't feel bad...or, at least not as bad. But over the years I've had multiple examples of staying quiet.

Sometimes
Sometimes it was an executive far senior to me. I couldn't challenge them, right?

Sometimes it was my colleagues, and I guess I wanted to somehow fit in. Did my silence achieve that goal?

Sometimes it was a family friend. Although they never stayed friends once I finally got in their face.

Sometimes it was a classmate, and I'm sure I didn't want to be targeted since I was part of the "in crowd."

Every Time
Things are different now. I don't worry about losing friends any longer. When the crude jokes, sexist comments, bigotry or hate rises up, it's open season on them. The reality is that those people are showing their true colors and don't deserve my friendship...or even a connection.

So I'm at a point in my life (and have been for some time) for those that choose to be mean, should expect to be called out publicly. I don't care if it hurts their feelings. I don't care it if makes a situation very awkward. I don't care if it is not politically safe to do so. I don't care what they think of me.

The people I work with are watching me. The organizations I serve are watching me. My children are watching me. I don't plan on disappointing any of them.

How About You
When the sinister elements in our world show themselves, what do you do? Is it a personal affront to you and your legacy; or, is it "just their personality" and you've learned to live with it?

Remember who's watching.

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.

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Tug of War

Just one question for today.

When you hear someone use a racial slur...or a make a crude comment toward the lgbtqi community...or when someone simply behaves like a jerk...

...what do you do?

1. Hold them accountable immediately

_____ yes / no

2. Struggle to take action and maybe say something later

_____ yes / no

3. Remain silent

_____ yes / no

How About You

Does your conscience win the ethical tug of war?

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.

Hate by Design

I’ve had enough.

Something has changed in the American dialogue about faith, gender, sexual orientation, and decency. I can turn on my television any night of the week and listen to Presidential candidates discuss their passion for banning certain groups of people from entering the United States simply because of their faith or country of origin. 

I watch states like North Carolina and others legalize discrimination against our own people. I see corporations across the county that still do not recognize equal rights for all of their employees.

It makes me sick. This is not leadership…this is hate by design.

Wake Up Call

Apparently there is such a strong sense of frustration that bigotry and hate are now acceptable. The core documents that this country was founded on…that include language that all people are equal...no longer apply. 

What happened?

 

Here’s a little reality check for those of us who have the privilege to lead our organizations. The millions upon millions of votes that are being cast for candidates with these extremist views are coming from our employees.

How does that feel?

Golden Opportunity

There is an incredible opportunity in the madness that has descended upon our world. Sadly it is not going to be something any politician embraces. However, those of us who shoulder the burden of leadership can make a huge difference.

But only if we’re brave enough to take action. 

- It is time for policies, benefits, and resources to be marshaled to ensure every one of our employees feels like an equal and valued member of our organizations.

- It is time for us to use the power of disciplinary action in a decisive and impactful way when bigotry raises it’s ugly head in the workplace. 

- It is time to for respectable organizations to disavow public policies that would discriminate against any person, regardless of their faith, race, gender, sexual orientation, or country of origin.

It is time my friends. 

How About You

Let me close today with a quote from Martin Niemoller, who shared one of the most powerful messages in all of human history. Sadly, it still applies to America in 2016.

First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Socialist.

Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out— 
Because I was not a Trade Unionist.

Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out— 
Because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.

I’d love to hear from you.

No Excuses. 

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This Battle Chose Us

leading through change

leading through criticism

leading through risk

leading through failures

leading through setbacks

leading through growth

leading through fear

leading through breakthroughs

leading through bigotry

leading through new perspectives

leading through sadness

leading through success

leading

through

it 

all.

We don't have a choice. 
The real leaders keep pushing, no matter what. 
That is the path chosen for us.

Are you with me?

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.

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I'm Not Interested

I have a list of things that I absolutely love. Whether it's time with my kids, working out, traveling, rocking social media, my job, going to a concert, spending time with close friends, or speaking to groups of people to get them fired up...I can't get enough!

I also have a list of things that I am absolutely not interested in...

At all.

I'm Not Interested
- in listening to bigots justify their stupidity
- in spending time with mean people
- in working with leaders who manipulate organizations for their own personal gain
- in being associated with the 'good old boys club'
- in hearing excuses for why something can not be accomplished
- in following the crowd
- in doing things the way they've always been done
- in settling 
- in remaining quiet
- in losing at anything
- in being anything but the very best I can be

How About You
What should be added to my list?

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.

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Arm Yourself

...with a positive approach to your work

...with a smile on your face

...with the courage to stand up for the person who is struggling

...with the common sense to see through the politics

...with the courtesy to greet everyone you encounter

...with the guts to speak out against bigotry

...with the confidence to make a positive impact

...with the compassion to care for others

...with the insight to see beyond the troubles of the moment

...with a healthy dose of humility

...with the stamina to fight through the storm

...with the motivation to keep pushing

...and the willingness to stand alone to do what's right when the other "leaders" run and hide.


I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.

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Stronger Than Hate

I've been thinking about the tremendous amount of sadness in the news lately from around the world. There are big things like war, famine, and blatant violations of human rights happening all the time.

Isn't that last comment enough to make you sick? These issues are so common we're not even phased when we hear about them.

Hate and indifference fuel these disastrous situations.

It's Personal
I've discovered over the years that I have a tremendous amount of influence in my life when it comes to hate. 

Sometimes the hate is subtle in the workplace...a quiet joke about someone who might be gay, or a crass comment about a female leader who is driving change. And the room is filled with a mix of nervous laughter and heads facing toward the floor.

Why is it that difference becomes a threat? 

Why is it that so many "professionals" don't realize that they are showing their true feelings when these not-so-subtle comments are made publicly? Seriously, when I hear these things I now react to them...and simultaneously lose all respect for the person saying it. 

I may have to work with you, but I will never cut you any slack again. Ever.

It's Serious
What strikes me as the ultimate in ironies is that the leaders that make crude comments about race, gender and sexuality also expect to be treated with the utmost respect. Ha! Good luck with that one.

"The same people often use religion as their cannon fodder for hate. I'm not a biblical scholar, but I don't recall Jesus saying 'let the white christian straight children come to me.' He actually invited all children to join him."

It's a shame so many leaders today fail to appreciate that message.

How About You

The world is changing...albeit slowly. No longer will the generation that is going to dominate the world of work accept these bigoted and outdated behaviors. Not to mention the legal infrastructure that is finally catching up to a civilized view of the world that treats all people with respect.

It's time for each of us to evaluate the words we use, and the challenges we make to these tired and embarrassing comments in the workplace. Stand up and let your voice be heard.

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.

I Am the Option

There are very few issues that I can't process a bit before responding. I may have a strong reaction on the inside, but I try not to let it show on the outside...at least not right away. That wouldn't be fair to the others involved, and it certainly wouldn't be fair to those who expect me to lead in a measured and thoughtful way.

Except for one thing.

In that case there's no processing, no calculated responses, no nervous laughter as I try to figure out my next move. When I hear, or see, or experience these moments the gloves are off and I'm all in.

See It

I see it...I hear it...the jokes...the good 'ol boy comments...the underlying messages about race, LGBT persons, and the role of women; which is quickly followed with some sort of twisted justification as to why they should be treated differently (read here --> like second-class citizens.)

Sadly even some companies, political "leaders", and countries take pride in their public attacks on other human beings who happen to be different from the "majority."

I'm here to tell you that kind of hatred doesn't work for me. Whether it's hiding behind "faith" or using subtle innuendos that degrade others. It's still hate. It's not being rude, or crass, or flip.

 

It's hate.

Feel It

What happens to you when you are confronted with these embarrassingly misinformed and juvenile behaviors? Does your heart rate pick up speed? Do you feel the pressure in the room change to something almost oppressive because everyone knows it's wrong?

Do you know in that specific moment it's time to strike back and lead? Or, for you is it time to welcome the familiar nervous laughter back for another appearance and hope the topic of conversation changes quickly?

My reaction is all too familiar now. I must confront the bigot. Nervous laughter is no longer an option. Hoping for someone else to step in is no longer an option.

I am the option.

How About You

Consider the choices you make in your life. Who is part of your inner circle? What leaders do you follow? What companies do you support? Do their behaviors align with your values? When you are confronted with these behaviors again, consider the most effective option that is available --> you.

You are the option too.

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses. 

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