Listen. Learn. Do.

Black Lives Matter.

It is not a slogan or bandwagon issue. It is something we need to embrace, respect, and acknowledge as part of the momentum necessary to move our country forward on one of the most challenging topics: racism.

It saddens, frustrates and candidly angers us all because racial equality should not even be a topic for discussion, let alone one mired in senseless murders, violence, and bigotry. Yet, here we are in 2020.

George Floyd.

A victim of a senseless police murder. Mr. Floyd joins the ranks of many others who have befallen the same fate. How is this possible? Why is this still happening?

Perhaps you have felt the same anger, frustration and hopelessness too? Watching the peaceful protests with a sense of pride, a hallmark of our nation’s history, and then sadly seeing some violence erupt from those protests suddenly makes us frustrated again.

Maybe you are wondering what you can do…what can your organization do…to make a positive impact in what feels like an impossible situation?

Three Steps

Today I would like to offer three steps that I believe will help us support each other, learn more about these complex issues, and offer a variety of actions each of us can take in our respective communities.

LISTENING – We need to start inside our organizations. We need to take the risk and open up with each other…share our feelings…even if we aren’t entirely sure what we are feeling right now. Perhaps now is the time for you to step up and lead the internal effort to create forums for discussion, sharing, and support for every employee?

LEARNING – Next we need to educate ourselves on what is happening. Invest some time and explore various websites dedicated to this issue. Talk with your colleagues, friends and clergy about resources in your community, and most importantly take the time to better understand the different perspectives apart from traditional news media.

www.blacklivesmatter.com – the flagship site for this movement

www.naacp.org – one of the longtime voices for the African American community

www.charitynavigator.org – a premier charity tracking organization that will help you find well respected organizations for you to consider donating to or learning more about

DOING – Expressing our collective anger is simply not enough. As we listen and learn we are naturally more confident to take action. Doing something is what matters most. Consider supporting a peaceful protest, reaching out to local organizations in your community, or even getting involved on a broader scale.

How About You

I know it is not easy to speak up, learn about sensitive topics, or take action. We might not get it right every time; however, that doesn’t mean we shouldn't keep pushing ourselves forward.

As you consider your role, reach out and let me know what you're thinking. Communicating with each other is more important than ever.

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.

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#MeToo Is About Everyone

Anger is rampant. Accusations are rampant. Accountability is rampant. Men are running for cover, and women feel more empowered than ever before. 

It's embarrassing that in a country with as much potential as the United States, it's taken this long for these voices to be heard. It's also embarrassing that men continue to behave this way.

When we consider the racial and religious divide that has been reignited and supported over the last two years, it's a miracle that anyone dares speak out.

What Is Happening?
Has something fundamentally changed? Have centuries of abuse, harassment and a male dominated society finally started to crumble? Has the pendulum swung so far and so fast that no one is entirely sure what the 'new normal' looks like?

I don't have the answer.

But I do know one thing...

"We are not supposed to be afraid of each other."

I've heard that men are afraid to mentor women? 

What?

I've heard that men are not sure how to behave around women? 

What?

I've heard that women and men are being so cautious, that it is impacting how and when work actually gets done.

WHAT?!

The Missing Piece

Where is the leadership? Why isn't someone offering a balanced point of view? Why isn't someone demanding civil discourse on these complicated issues? Why are men running scared, when they should be standing up and making their voices heard in support of their colleagues, friends and family?

Where are the powerful male voices supporting #MeToo?

Mainstream media doesn't provide any leadership from the left or the right.

Political leaders who have the most influence are clearly falling short.

Many companies espouse "equality" and "value their employees" but I see precious little in writing, and even less 'action' from their leaders, taking a stand.

Who, then, is going to lead the way? Here's the answer...you and I are going to do it. 

We are going to have the difficult conversations. We are going to write in a calm, thought-provoking way to ensure opinions and ideas are heard. 

We are going to listen to each other. 

We are going to be role models for our children, our employees, and our leaders.

You and I are going to lead the way.

How About You

How do you feel about our world? Does your company's leadership team openly discuss these challenging issues? Is there a candid conversation occurring in your organization that sets an example for us all? What about you...how are you leading the way?

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.

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No Lives Matter

"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

"Silence in the face of evil is itself evil. Not to speak, is to speak. Not to act is to act."
- Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Other than my parents, I have two heroes who have influenced my life more than any others. I've written about them many times here on NoExcusesHR.

Martin and Dietrich.

They guide me..and today I will write how I honestly feel...and try not to disappoint them. To be honest, I'm not sure I can do it. But I'm going to try.

I would like to humbly offer my voice to the #BlackBlogsMatter project.

Are You Kidding Me?
I've heard the complaints for a long time. That somehow, the deck is stacked against whites. It's as if the push to bring equality to America has somehow disenfranchised white people. 

What? You can't be serious? These excuses, that I've heard for years, are some of the most bizarre deflections for not working hard, making an impact in their jobs, and being a difference maker.

I wonder what the response would be if the events of the last few years (or centuries) were reversed, and black police officers were gunning down whites regularly? Hmmm. Maybe a different reaction?

Black lives matter.

Losing Friends
I have to admit that earlier in my life I tried to maintain friendly relationships with everyone, both personally and professionally. But, that approach was not meant to be. I reached a point where I could no longer tolerate the racist comments, cheap shots against persons of color and other vulnerable groups, and just had to say, and do something.

I lost friends.
I called out colleagues publicly.
I made it very clear where I stood...and candidly did not care if those around me who felt differently were offended. 

Black lives matter.

Standing Tall
As time passed I grew increasingly confident in my views, and fortunately, was blessed to be in an executive position with considerable influence. Make no mistake, I used that influence to achieve my agenda.

I pushed to make major changes in my organization with the Board of Trustees, which were approved, implemented, and still stand today. The details are not important here, but suffice to say issues of diversity, inclusion and equality became part of the fabric of the organization.

Black lives matter.

How About You
As you consider your legacy...yes, legacy...how would you like to be remembered? Is being a "dutiful soldier to the majority" something that feels good? Or, is there another path? Perhaps one that gives you the opportunity to be a leader for everyone in your organization...and in your life.

I can not thank my parents enough for teaching me that when groups of people are treated unfairly it is our responsibility to lead the way and support them, regardless of the criticism, peer pressure, or political fallout. We must always do the right thing.

I hope Martin and Dietrich are not disappointed. 

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.

inspiration: Sarah and Body Count
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That Time I Didn't Speak Up

Ah, if it were only one time. Maybe then I wouldn't feel bad...or, at least not as bad. But over the years I've had multiple examples of staying quiet.

Sometimes
Sometimes it was an executive far senior to me. I couldn't challenge them, right?

Sometimes it was my colleagues, and I guess I wanted to somehow fit in. Did my silence achieve that goal?

Sometimes it was a family friend. Although they never stayed friends once I finally got in their face.

Sometimes it was a classmate, and I'm sure I didn't want to be targeted since I was part of the "in crowd."

Every Time
Things are different now. I don't worry about losing friends any longer. When the crude jokes, sexist comments, bigotry or hate rises up, it's open season on them. The reality is that those people are showing their true colors and don't deserve my friendship...or even a connection.

So I'm at a point in my life (and have been for some time) for those that choose to be mean, should expect to be called out publicly. I don't care if it hurts their feelings. I don't care it if makes a situation very awkward. I don't care if it is not politically safe to do so. I don't care what they think of me.

The people I work with are watching me. The organizations I serve are watching me. My children are watching me. I don't plan on disappointing any of them.

How About You
When the sinister elements in our world show themselves, what do you do? Is it a personal affront to you and your legacy; or, is it "just their personality" and you've learned to live with it?

Remember who's watching.

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.

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The House of Shame

For every time I didn't speak up...

shame.

For every time I didn't challenge the bigot...

shame.

For every time I had that sinking feeling in my stomach but remained still...

shame.

For every time a leader crossed the line and I looked away...

shame.

For every time the group went too far...

shame.

For every time I heard my conscience question, but I didn't answer...

shame.

And for everything I've learned from failing so long ago...

thank you. I am no longer silent.

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.


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inspiration

I'm Not Interested

I have a list of things that I absolutely love. Whether it's time with my kids, working out, traveling, rocking social media, my job, going to a concert, spending time with close friends, or speaking to groups of people to get them fired up...I can't get enough!

I also have a list of things that I am absolutely not interested in...

At all.

I'm Not Interested
- in listening to bigots justify their stupidity
- in spending time with mean people
- in working with leaders who manipulate organizations for their own personal gain
- in being associated with the 'good old boys club'
- in hearing excuses for why something can not be accomplished
- in following the crowd
- in doing things the way they've always been done
- in settling 
- in remaining quiet
- in losing at anything
- in being anything but the very best I can be

How About You
What should be added to my list?

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.

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Stronger Than Hate

I've been thinking about the tremendous amount of sadness in the news lately from around the world. There are big things like war, famine, and blatant violations of human rights happening all the time.

Isn't that last comment enough to make you sick? These issues are so common we're not even phased when we hear about them.

Hate and indifference fuel these disastrous situations.

It's Personal
I've discovered over the years that I have a tremendous amount of influence in my life when it comes to hate. 

Sometimes the hate is subtle in the workplace...a quiet joke about someone who might be gay, or a crass comment about a female leader who is driving change. And the room is filled with a mix of nervous laughter and heads facing toward the floor.

Why is it that difference becomes a threat? 

Why is it that so many "professionals" don't realize that they are showing their true feelings when these not-so-subtle comments are made publicly? Seriously, when I hear these things I now react to them...and simultaneously lose all respect for the person saying it. 

I may have to work with you, but I will never cut you any slack again. Ever.

It's Serious
What strikes me as the ultimate in ironies is that the leaders that make crude comments about race, gender and sexuality also expect to be treated with the utmost respect. Ha! Good luck with that one.

"The same people often use religion as their cannon fodder for hate. I'm not a biblical scholar, but I don't recall Jesus saying 'let the white christian straight children come to me.' He actually invited all children to join him."

It's a shame so many leaders today fail to appreciate that message.

How About You

The world is changing...albeit slowly. No longer will the generation that is going to dominate the world of work accept these bigoted and outdated behaviors. Not to mention the legal infrastructure that is finally catching up to a civilized view of the world that treats all people with respect.

It's time for each of us to evaluate the words we use, and the challenges we make to these tired and embarrassing comments in the workplace. Stand up and let your voice be heard.

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.

People Exactly Like Us

I spend a lot of time thinking about how people are treated. Sometimes it's the tragic news stories that dominate my twitter news list. Other times the pain is very local...an overheard racial slur, or a demeaning comment about a gay or lesbian person.

I have to tell you...I'm feeling sad today.

Questions
Now before you think I'm getting all soft and weepy, consider these questions:

- What have you done in your workplace, above and beyond what the law requires, to create a positive environment for all employees?

- What words do you use, even casually away from work? Do you have a "leadership" vocabulary for the office, and a "personal" one when you're with your friends?

- Do you support companies that have track records of discriminating against people simply because they are different?

- When you experience forms of discrimination, large or small, do you speak up or play it safe and remain silent?

People Are People
Thankfully my parents instilled in me from the moment I was old enough to interact with other human beings that everyone is equal. 

No group, viewpoint, or taken-out-of-context Bible verse justifies discriminating against anyone. (By the way, my Father was a very successful Pastor.)

The good news in all of the persistent chaos around us is that we do have laws that protect people, more and more states are recognizing the rights of people to love and marry whomever they chose, and companies like mine are offering benefits to all employees.

How About You
Do you make sure your organization accepts everyone? How exactly do you make that happen? It would be a shame if any of our organizations had a reputation for only hiring people who were just like us.

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses. 




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I Am the Option

There are very few issues that I can't process a bit before responding. I may have a strong reaction on the inside, but I try not to let it show on the outside...at least not right away. That wouldn't be fair to the others involved, and it certainly wouldn't be fair to those who expect me to lead in a measured and thoughtful way.

Except for one thing.

In that case there's no processing, no calculated responses, no nervous laughter as I try to figure out my next move. When I hear, or see, or experience these moments the gloves are off and I'm all in.

See It

I see it...I hear it...the jokes...the good 'ol boy comments...the underlying messages about race, LGBT persons, and the role of women; which is quickly followed with some sort of twisted justification as to why they should be treated differently (read here --> like second-class citizens.)

Sadly even some companies, political "leaders", and countries take pride in their public attacks on other human beings who happen to be different from the "majority."

I'm here to tell you that kind of hatred doesn't work for me. Whether it's hiding behind "faith" or using subtle innuendos that degrade others. It's still hate. It's not being rude, or crass, or flip.

 

It's hate.

Feel It

What happens to you when you are confronted with these embarrassingly misinformed and juvenile behaviors? Does your heart rate pick up speed? Do you feel the pressure in the room change to something almost oppressive because everyone knows it's wrong?

Do you know in that specific moment it's time to strike back and lead? Or, for you is it time to welcome the familiar nervous laughter back for another appearance and hope the topic of conversation changes quickly?

My reaction is all too familiar now. I must confront the bigot. Nervous laughter is no longer an option. Hoping for someone else to step in is no longer an option.

I am the option.

How About You

Consider the choices you make in your life. Who is part of your inner circle? What leaders do you follow? What companies do you support? Do their behaviors align with your values? When you are confronted with these behaviors again, consider the most effective option that is available --> you.

You are the option too.

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses. 

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Burn

After many years of working as a human resources practitioner I am rarely surprised by the odd behavior that people exhibit in the workplace. Let's face it, human nature can be quirky. When you combine quirky behavior with the reality that most leaders do not enjoy confrontation, you have the perfect situation for HR to assist in resolving problems. 

I Said "Rarely"

What does continue to surprise me, sadly, are the comments related to race or ethnicity that for some reason have popped up over the years.

The obvious pearl of wisdom that should be shared at this point is that those comments are never tolerated and appropriate action is taken. A good HR response, right?

But here's the rub for me...

These comments make me burn inside. I don't mean that I simply get upset that someone is being an insensitive jerk. I'm talking about the bias I have as I am made aware of these behaviors.

"We all have our own lens that we see the world through, and my lens has a hypersensitivity to narrow-minded bigots." 

I'm fully supportive of free speech, and everyone's right to have an opinion. But I'll be damned if a racist is going to hurt the reputation of my organization.

Too harsh? Too bad. 

Who's Laughing Now

One of the tremendous advantages and responsibilities of human resources leaders is that we can take action when behavior steps outside what is expected. Combined with the mission and values of each organization, the authority to act allows for the right thing to be done.

While "good 'ol boys" and jokes that evoke nervous laughter (read here --> what a loser!) sometimes influence culture, we as HR leaders have the responsibility to break through those pathetic behaviors and move our organizations in a new direction based on accountability, dignity, and respect.

One of the most embarrassing things for those that cling to these discriminatory ideals is that the modern world of work values diversity as a strategy for success. They clearly are out of touch in so many ways. When all people are not welcomed as equal members of the team, the whole company suffers. 

How About You

When was the last time you were surprised at work? Was it from a goofy misstep, or was it something more serious? If it was someone acting like an insensitive fool, did you do something about it?

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.

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