Tug of War

Just one question for today.

When you hear someone use a racial slur...or a make a crude comment toward the lgbtqi community...or when someone simply behaves like a jerk...

...what do you do?

1. Hold them accountable immediately

_____ yes / no

2. Struggle to take action and maybe say something later

_____ yes / no

3. Remain silent

_____ yes / no

How About You

Does your conscience win the ethical tug of war?

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.

The House of Shame

For every time I didn't speak up...

shame.

For every time I didn't challenge the bigot...

shame.

For every time I had that sinking feeling in my stomach but remained still...

shame.

For every time a leader crossed the line and I looked away...

shame.

For every time the group went too far...

shame.

For every time I heard my conscience question, but I didn't answer...

shame.

And for everything I've learned from failing so long ago...

thank you. I am no longer silent.

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.


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inspiration

Hate by Design

I’ve had enough.

Something has changed in the American dialogue about faith, gender, sexual orientation, and decency. I can turn on my television any night of the week and listen to Presidential candidates discuss their passion for banning certain groups of people from entering the United States simply because of their faith or country of origin. 

I watch states like North Carolina and others legalize discrimination against our own people. I see corporations across the county that still do not recognize equal rights for all of their employees.

It makes me sick. This is not leadership…this is hate by design.

Wake Up Call

Apparently there is such a strong sense of frustration that bigotry and hate are now acceptable. The core documents that this country was founded on…that include language that all people are equal...no longer apply. 

What happened?

 

Here’s a little reality check for those of us who have the privilege to lead our organizations. The millions upon millions of votes that are being cast for candidates with these extremist views are coming from our employees.

How does that feel?

Golden Opportunity

There is an incredible opportunity in the madness that has descended upon our world. Sadly it is not going to be something any politician embraces. However, those of us who shoulder the burden of leadership can make a huge difference.

But only if we’re brave enough to take action. 

- It is time for policies, benefits, and resources to be marshaled to ensure every one of our employees feels like an equal and valued member of our organizations.

- It is time for us to use the power of disciplinary action in a decisive and impactful way when bigotry raises it’s ugly head in the workplace. 

- It is time to for respectable organizations to disavow public policies that would discriminate against any person, regardless of their faith, race, gender, sexual orientation, or country of origin.

It is time my friends. 

How About You

Let me close today with a quote from Martin Niemoller, who shared one of the most powerful messages in all of human history. Sadly, it still applies to America in 2016.

First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Socialist.

Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out— 
Because I was not a Trade Unionist.

Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out— 
Because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.

I’d love to hear from you.

No Excuses. 

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Stop Talking About Diversity

You read that right. Stop.

Here's why...

All Talk
Many organizations, leaders, and employees claim to be be pro-diversity. They preach fairness for all...a culture of support and risk-taking...and the joke-of-all-time...an open door policy.

They're lying.

All of that talk does nothing except disappoint. Why? There is no follow through. There is no real risk-taking...and there certainly isn't an investment in diversity in a meaningful way for most companies.

Mirror Time
Let's do a little self-assessment of ourselves and our organizations, shall we?

1.  Do you have a Chief Diversity Officer?

2.  If not, have you aggressively advocated for one?

3.  Do you reward employees for taking risks; or, is your corporate culture based on a small group of leaders (typically pale and male) deciding who is a "good fit?"

4.  Does your organization recognize the Martin Luther King, Jr. holiday?

5.  Do your benefits policies include employees who are part of the LGBT community?

6.  Do you focus on having a diverse slate of candidates for open positions?

7.  Are wages for men and women in similar roles....similar?

8.  If not, how are you possibly justifying that values-based decision? (Yes, it is a statement about your corporate values.)

How About You
The list of priorities around diversity is a long one. I've highlighted a fraction of those opportunities here...the proverbial low-hanging-fruit we all love to take care of right away.

Are you going to pick this fruit in your organization?

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.

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Stronger Than Hate

I've been thinking about the tremendous amount of sadness in the news lately from around the world. There are big things like war, famine, and blatant violations of human rights happening all the time.

Isn't that last comment enough to make you sick? These issues are so common we're not even phased when we hear about them.

Hate and indifference fuel these disastrous situations.

It's Personal
I've discovered over the years that I have a tremendous amount of influence in my life when it comes to hate. 

Sometimes the hate is subtle in the workplace...a quiet joke about someone who might be gay, or a crass comment about a female leader who is driving change. And the room is filled with a mix of nervous laughter and heads facing toward the floor.

Why is it that difference becomes a threat? 

Why is it that so many "professionals" don't realize that they are showing their true feelings when these not-so-subtle comments are made publicly? Seriously, when I hear these things I now react to them...and simultaneously lose all respect for the person saying it. 

I may have to work with you, but I will never cut you any slack again. Ever.

It's Serious
What strikes me as the ultimate in ironies is that the leaders that make crude comments about race, gender and sexuality also expect to be treated with the utmost respect. Ha! Good luck with that one.

"The same people often use religion as their cannon fodder for hate. I'm not a biblical scholar, but I don't recall Jesus saying 'let the white christian straight children come to me.' He actually invited all children to join him."

It's a shame so many leaders today fail to appreciate that message.

How About You

The world is changing...albeit slowly. No longer will the generation that is going to dominate the world of work accept these bigoted and outdated behaviors. Not to mention the legal infrastructure that is finally catching up to a civilized view of the world that treats all people with respect.

It's time for each of us to evaluate the words we use, and the challenges we make to these tired and embarrassing comments in the workplace. Stand up and let your voice be heard.

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.

I Meant What They Said

Sometimes the words of others are exactly what we want to say. Here are some of my favorites...

"Silence in the face of evil is itself evil. Not to speak is to speak. Not to act is to act."
- Dietrich Bonhoeffer

"I have learned over the years that when one's mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear."
- Rosa Parks

"It takes no compromise to give people their rights...it takes no money to respect the individual. It takes no political deal to give people freedom. It takes no survey to remove repression.
- Harvey Milk

"Conscience is the perfect interpreter of life."
- Karl Barth

"The time is always right to do what is right."
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.

People Exactly Like Us

I spend a lot of time thinking about how people are treated. Sometimes it's the tragic news stories that dominate my twitter news list. Other times the pain is very local...an overheard racial slur, or a demeaning comment about a gay or lesbian person.

I have to tell you...I'm feeling sad today.

Questions
Now before you think I'm getting all soft and weepy, consider these questions:

- What have you done in your workplace, above and beyond what the law requires, to create a positive environment for all employees?

- What words do you use, even casually away from work? Do you have a "leadership" vocabulary for the office, and a "personal" one when you're with your friends?

- Do you support companies that have track records of discriminating against people simply because they are different?

- When you experience forms of discrimination, large or small, do you speak up or play it safe and remain silent?

People Are People
Thankfully my parents instilled in me from the moment I was old enough to interact with other human beings that everyone is equal. 

No group, viewpoint, or taken-out-of-context Bible verse justifies discriminating against anyone. (By the way, my Father was a very successful Pastor.)

The good news in all of the persistent chaos around us is that we do have laws that protect people, more and more states are recognizing the rights of people to love and marry whomever they chose, and companies like mine are offering benefits to all employees.

How About You
Do you make sure your organization accepts everyone? How exactly do you make that happen? It would be a shame if any of our organizations had a reputation for only hiring people who were just like us.

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses. 




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I Am the Option

There are very few issues that I can't process a bit before responding. I may have a strong reaction on the inside, but I try not to let it show on the outside...at least not right away. That wouldn't be fair to the others involved, and it certainly wouldn't be fair to those who expect me to lead in a measured and thoughtful way.

Except for one thing.

In that case there's no processing, no calculated responses, no nervous laughter as I try to figure out my next move. When I hear, or see, or experience these moments the gloves are off and I'm all in.

See It

I see it...I hear it...the jokes...the good 'ol boy comments...the underlying messages about race, LGBT persons, and the role of women; which is quickly followed with some sort of twisted justification as to why they should be treated differently (read here --> like second-class citizens.)

Sadly even some companies, political "leaders", and countries take pride in their public attacks on other human beings who happen to be different from the "majority."

I'm here to tell you that kind of hatred doesn't work for me. Whether it's hiding behind "faith" or using subtle innuendos that degrade others. It's still hate. It's not being rude, or crass, or flip.

 

It's hate.

Feel It

What happens to you when you are confronted with these embarrassingly misinformed and juvenile behaviors? Does your heart rate pick up speed? Do you feel the pressure in the room change to something almost oppressive because everyone knows it's wrong?

Do you know in that specific moment it's time to strike back and lead? Or, for you is it time to welcome the familiar nervous laughter back for another appearance and hope the topic of conversation changes quickly?

My reaction is all too familiar now. I must confront the bigot. Nervous laughter is no longer an option. Hoping for someone else to step in is no longer an option.

I am the option.

How About You

Consider the choices you make in your life. Who is part of your inner circle? What leaders do you follow? What companies do you support? Do their behaviors align with your values? When you are confronted with these behaviors again, consider the most effective option that is available --> you.

You are the option too.

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses. 

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Regrets, Not Doubts

I learned a lot of important rules about family, faith, and my country growing up. All three categories seemed to blend together into a core set of beliefs that made perfect sense back then, and still do today:

- be thankful for your freedom
- no one is better than anyone else
- work hard at school and later in your job
- help others in need when you can
- violence is never a first option
- treat everyone with respect
- learn from history

I don't think most people would disagree with these rules. However, I do not believe that the items on this list are embraced in the way they should be in a modern, educated world, let alone in the workplace.

Regrets
Regret can be a powerful emotion. Usually it refers to the feeling that we should have acted in a certain way, but we chose not to do so. It doesn't mean we accidentally didn't act, it means we chose not to act and we feel badly about it later.

Let's refer to the list again and ask ourselves a few questions:

- Are we thankful for the many freedoms we enjoy, including the freedom to write about our differences without fear of reprisal or censorship?

- Have we judged ourselves to be better than someone else? Perhaps they are not the same color, or have a different sexual orientation, or practice a different religion? Do they still receive the same respect our white christian friends receive?

Regret is a powerful tool to help us improve as people. It also allows for a bright light to shine on the bigots and make their true feelings known as we examine our own choices, and the choices of those around us. You see, the narrow-minded and judgemental folks who claim to know "what's right" are usually the ones fanning the flames of exclusion, and inadvertently, hate.

That is wrong.

Doubts

Doubt refers to a sense of uncertainty, and is associated with a delay in taking action due to concerns about whether or not something is the right thing to do at a particular moment in time. While regret teaches us about making the appropriate choices in life, doubt can be an enemy that blocks our courage to follow the rules from the list above.

While we all have regrets about not speaking up at various times in our lives to support the rights and freedoms of all people; there should never be any doubt about what must be done. It is incumbent on us as leaders both inside and outside our organizations to stand up for the freedoms of all people.

How About You
Do the people in your life know what you stand for? Do the employees in your organization know that you respect everyone in society? Simply put, it is impossible to be a bigot in your personal life and then talk about how every employee should be treated fairly at work. You're lying to your team, and to your self...and that is wrong.

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.



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Moment of Silence

There it was again. That nervous laughter when someone in a leadership role made an innuendo about race. The last time it was about being gay. What follows is always the same...an awkward moment of silence, and then the nervous laughter of those sitting around the table feeling compelled to join in, but obviously hating the moment.

The 1970's Were Bad...Right?
Thankfully I was raised in a household that held diversity as a core value. In fact, my parents share a story about me as a young boy that illustrates the point. One winter I saw a black man and a white woman holding hands as they walked down the street, and I exclaimed "that's bad!" In a panic, my parents tried to stay calm and asked me why that was so bad. I answered, "because he's not wearing a coat, it's winter time!"

Thank God for my parents.

It's Better in 2012...Right?

Sadly, the examples I've been exposed to in my professional life are not from the era of  leisure suits and disco balls. They're part of my adult experience, and over the years I've struggled with how to handle the moment when bigotry has shown itself to me.

Probably the ultimate let down is when someone we admire shows their feelings and lets a comment slip out that speaks to their real values. When I experience those moments I put them on a little mental list...a list of those that no longer deserve my respect.

Time To Speak Up

Quite a few years ago I decided I couldn't handle the silence anymore. Since that time I've lost friends, and become much more vocal about rights for people in the workplace. All people. I'm proud that my employer recognizes these same values not only in words, but in who we care for, and how we treat our employees. You see, as an HR professional you truly can advocate for changes to be made in your company that send very powerful messages about equality, difference, and...people!

How About You
What do you do in your moment of silence? Do you take a stand and rise above the others and say what's on your mind? Or, do you let the silence wrap itself around you in a blanket of shame?

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.



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Pinterest: The New Diversity Battleground?

I've only recently started using Pinterest. There was so much buzz about it, and since I try to stay reasonably current I did what any smart person would do...I called Craig Fisher to learn the real story. He was gracious with his time and shared some insights that I'll be putting into practice shortly from a recruitment perspective.

So off I went to learn, experiment, and play with this new fangled tool...and a discussion of sorts started playing out on one of my Pinterest boards. Apparently the threat of treating all people with respect has spilled over onto this new social site.

People Are People, Right?

Maybe it's just me, but if the people who are so threatened by our lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender friends, coworkers and neighbors would just put that same energy into helping people verus attacking people, imagine what our world would look like?

How About You

Are you as surprised as I am that the threat of treating all people equally has now spilled over onto Pinterest? What do you do when confronted with this type of narrow-minded bigotry?

I'd love to hear from you.

No Excuses.




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Flames of Ignorance

I am troubled.

I  am troubled about the negativity that continues to be directed at our lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) friends. Yes, friends.  They live and work in our communities, organizations and neighborhoods. Add to it the bizarre decision by this organization and it seems we are openly attacking innocent people based simply on their sexual orientation. Since when is it okay in a civilized society to attack innocent people? I am aware that bigotry and ignorance exist, but it is disappointing to me that governments and organizations in the "modern" world would actually move ahead in such a mean-spirited way against other human beings. This my friends is totally unacceptable. 

One Nation Under God…Really?

To further complicate matters, some of these folks actually attempt to use religion, primarily Christianity, as the rationale for their position.  The reality is that the teachings of Christianity, other major faiths, and the tenets of human decency regardless of one’s faith perspective, are about as far away from these hate-inspired and homophobic attitudes as one could imagine. Families today are made up of many diverse situations, but that doesn't mean they aren't loving families. I wonder if Rick Santorum would refuse life-saving treatment from a gay physician who was married to another gay person?  I bet his perspective might shift just a bit in that moment, don't you?

Make A Choice

So with all this venom flying around us we are faced with quite a dilemma.  What does one do about all of this “unReligious” inspired hate?  Well, I for one am no longer comfortable sitting idly by and letting the racists and fear mongers control the message.  Leaders of people, ALL people, do not see color, or age, or orientation…they see people.  So the next time a person, or organization, or State allows a few voices to rally the masses to take shameful action in the name of “what’s right” remember these words from Martin Niemöller:

When the Nazis came for the communists,
I remained silent;
I was not a communist.

When they locked up the social democrats,
I remained silent;
I was not a social democrat.

When they came for the trade unionists,
I did not speak out;
I was not a trade unionist.

When they came for the Jews,
I remained silent;
I wasn't a Jew.

When they came for me,
there was no one left to speak out.

How About You

What are you going to do the next time you hear an innocent person being attacked simply because they are gay or lesbian?  Are you going to remain silent so as to avoid confrontation; or, will you step up and show everyone around you that you are a leader.  Do not allow yourself to become mesmerized by the flames of ignorance...while you’re watching someone else is feeling the burn.

I’d love to hear from you.

No Excuses.


pic courtesy of politicalmonkey2010